If you’ve read this blog before, you know how I feel about crying on television. Almost without exception, it gives me secondary embarrassment. I’m not generally a crier but that doesn’t mean I can’t get my boo-hoo’s on every once in a while (pregnancy doesn’t count). The thing is no one looks good crying on television. The whole thing is awkward – the look, the sound, the expressions of those around you – awkward.
So, last night I was catching up on the latest episode of one of my favorite shows, “Bethenny Ever After” (thank you Bravo, for continuously creating addicting reality content) and there were the waterworks. Now if you’ve been watching this season, you know that Bethenny has been a CRYING MACHINE. Seriously, she cries every episode. Crying on her way to a party, crying at home, crying with friends. Lots and lots of crying. But last night’s episode was different. It was worse and painfully awkward to watch. Bethenny crying at her birthday party.
I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t cry at one of my birthday parties. I did. I was in sixth grade and some girl was being mean to me at my birthday slumber party (don’t act like you never had an elementary/middle school birthday breakdown, it happens to all of us). I am hopeful though, that the birthday blues don’t strike at my 40th Birthday party (which is over a decade away, thank you very much). Unfortunately for Bethenny, they hit her hard.
During this episode, we learn that Bethenny isn’t a huge birthday fan. As much as I relate to Bethenny (and I feel like I do on WAY too many levels), this is one thing I cannot comprehend. I am a birthday lover. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my birthday but I am also a huge fan of other people’s birthdays. Really, who doesn’t love a good celebration? Well apparently, Bethenny (and my husband, who seems to throw himself a birthday pity party every year ). Bethenny’s husband, like me, is a huge fan of a fun birthday and plans a fun little surprise for her. This is where the awkwardness strikes. Watch and cringe.
Clearly Bethenny loves attention. I mean, she has her own show. But this kind of attention is, admittedly, a bit uncomfortable. I am on her team when she says she doesn’t like for everyone to stare at her in a circle. I also agree with her dislike of opening gifts in front of other people. Opening presents at my wedding and/or baby showers made me pretty uncomfortable. I hate how everyone is just watching, waiting for your reaction. I digress.
Quick Sidenote: I heart Jason’s parents on this show but how out of place do they look at this party? You know if you were at this party and were talking to them you’d feel all bad about trying to get wasted while trying to hold an adult convo with them. You know they’re trying to talk about babies and families and Brynn while you’re just trying to get your party on. You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled programming.
Unfortunately for us all, Bethenny is unable to just suck it up and take one for the team. So instead of being thrilled with the thoughtfulness of the pink mannequin and the amazingness of the diamond earrings (!!!!!!!!!!), she freaks out. Starts crying and then escapes to the bathroom for an all-out sobfest. And we’re not talking about the tears that just quietly well-up in your eyes. We’re talking uncontrollable, lose your breath weeping. It was almost too much for me to bear AND we couldn’t even see it. She locked herself in the bathroom, so you know it has to be bad when just the sound alone made me want to fast-forward (thank you DVR). All the while, Party Planner Shawn is probably having a shit-fit off camera and secretly wishing he had convinced her to have the bare-chested male models serve drinks while Cirque du Soleil aerialists serve drinks at the bar ( I am not making that up, he proposed she do that at the party. love it!).
I propose that Bethenny invite me to her next milestone birthday where I will happily lap up the attention, enthusiastically blow out the candles on a delicious cake (ps – how big was her birthday cake? It looked amazing and like it could feed a small army of cake lovers) and accept all lavish gifts with pleasure.
Until then, I will just enjoy all the other similarities I seem to share with Bethenny (similarities do not include being rich and fabulous, having a baby nanny, owning my own company, being a psuedo-celebrity and wearing a size 00).
p.s. friends – do you love your birthday? or do you have bad birthday memories? i’d love to hear stories of your best or worst (share the SE!) birthday moments.