Once again Ron, Sam and their exhausting relationship took center stage. But, i’m thinking you are just as tired of their bulls**t as I am so I am going to skip over most of their storyline. I will give an AMEN to Vinny when he said “I’m pretty sure this is what hell must be like.” Oh, and I did LOVE when The Situation called Sammi out on her constant hair straightening. Girl straightens her hair almost as much as she fights with Ronnie. Sometimes she even combos it and does both at the same time.
On to Snookie. Who I personally cannot get enough of. If they ever get rid of The Jersey Shore (I know, the Horror! I promise I won’t say that again) I would FOR SURE watch a show entirely devoted to Snooks.
Poor Snooks – Every time she thinks she’s found a nice, juice head, guido guy something goes awry. So, she’s at Karma and spots an A1 piece of guido meat (I don’t know how hard this actually is because it seems like that’s all there is at the shore, but what would I know.). Snooks uses her trademark ice breaker ” You got a girlfriend?” and as soon as she hears “No” it appears she’s in love. There’s grinding, hand holding and really uncomfortable pen mouth tonguing on the dance floor. In no time, Snookie is leading this juice head back to the house and straight to the smush room.
This is where I got some serious SE. First off, the night vision camera personally creeps me out. Everyone looks like a beady-eyed alien and at the shore house, everyone looks like a drunk, horny, beady-eyed alien. Gross. Then after an awkward straddle shot, Snooks announces Aunt Flo is in the house and she actually is not DTF (if you don’t know what this means, ask a friend.Explaining it gives me big time SE.). Double Gross. Bummer for Snooks, Ole Dude (I don’t remember his name.) will not be getting the Golden Ticket, as Deena so eloquently calls it.
At this exact time, the drunk Oompa Loompa that is Deena, is down the hall giving her Golden Ticket to one of Ron’s “real nice” friends. I’m sure Ron has tons of real nice friends looking for an easy Golden Ticket. This story line was the worst in a episode chock full of awesomeness so this is all you’ll get.
Cue the morning and it looks like Snook has found a real winner. He gives the stripper pole a go and even agrees to day filled with carnival rides and drinking (ps – if you know me and my love of all things carnivals, you’ll know that I am a little jealous of their proximity to a 24-7 amusement park.) Then ole dude drops the bomb that he WAS engaged and Snookie freaks out. I’m not quite sure why though? This time ole dude WAS engaged. Now, I don’t understand why Snooks got all freaked out about this. I think the day drinking may have played a role here. So Snooks kicks him to the curb and heads home.
Here is where I will wax poetic on how awesome Pauly D is – I heart him. His fake answering machine bit made the episode for me. I also just love how protective he is of Snookers. What I don’t love is that crazy stalker bia who shares my name. She does a disgrace to all Danielle’s out there. I mean c’mon girl, have a little dignity. The dude called you out as being a CRAZY PSYCHO stalker last season. Then you stalk him again at the club and throw a drink on him. Then you fake being scared so he’ll talk to you, give you a hug and invite you back to the house. Where, once you arrive, every roommates ridicules you while you just sit there and take it. She must be seriously in love with Pauly D (I know, what’s not to love). So crazy. So So crazy. Which is why I hope she continues to make appearances on the show and Vinny continues to make up corny jokes highlighting what a stalker, stage 5 clinger she is.
As I write this post and fondly reflect on Episode 19, I realize I am leaving out some serious highlights. Namely, Ron’s trip to the doctor and the girls outing at the stripper store.
1. Ron’s trip to the doc. – Could this have been any more embarrassing. Isn’t there a health clause in their contracts allowing them to duck the camera crews when they have to get their booty holes checked out? As I watched I felt like I was committing a HIPPA violation. There is only one word to describe that segment – WOOF. So gross, so awkward, so uncomfortable and so unnecessary. You think after having an a-hole issue, Sam could have laid off him for a little bit. But of course not, not even with an achy a-hole will end their arguing.
2. Girls trip to the Stripper Store. – First off, they get drunk before going (or at least Snooky is drunk). Then they try on some of the sluttiest outfits/costumes they have. Can we talk about how JWOWW wears stripper costumes as going-out outfits? I guess with a rack like that, it’s all that really fits. But seriously – the stripper store is not Bebe or Rave or wherever shore girls by their going-out clothes. Or maybe it is. Either way, I love that Snookie wore her slutty baseball player outfit right out of the store. Classic Snooks.
All in all, this episode was great and full of some, sure to be classic Jersey Shore moments. And, get excited, next week’s preview shows Sam leaving. Like actually leaving in a car. Now, could this be another MTV fake-out? Yes. Am I hoping it’s not so we can focus more on grenades, Pauly D, making out in clubs, Pauly D family dinners, Pauly D, the smush room, Pauly D and Deena’s horrible taste in life? Yes, yes, yes.
Until then… stay tuned!