Tag Archives: Kacie B

Bad News Bears – The Bachelor Recap will be Late. Stupid DirectTV

Hey friends. So I’ve got some bad news. Last night, I had to get a late start on our old Bachelor Ben. So around 9 I settled in, ready to cue up this week’s dose of Secondary Embarrassment. I hit the DVR button and went into a ridiculous panic when I realized that my stupid DVR had decided not to record The Bachelor instead focusing on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (doesn’t it know that RHOBH is on repeat like every five minutes but Bachelor is only on ONCE! shouldn’t it know these things?). Obviously, I am blaming the DVR (and my inability to accept our switch to Direct TV) for my own mental error.

I did end up catching the last hour and gah, could Courtney have been any worse. Seriously, it’s like her evil powers (and annoying habits) grow exponentially each week. I promise to do a full recap later tonight but since I can’t leave you for a full day without getting some thoughts off my chest, here’s a quick little recap nugget.

Image: ABC

The Top 10 Most Annoying Things Courtney Did or Said Last Night [in the Final Hour].
(Sorry, it’s all I can focus on other than the blond girls crying).

10. The Lip Biting.
Okay, so I know this is NOT new but it still annoys me to no end. Does she think it’s sexy? Cute? Pretty? Does Ben find it attractive? Has he told her that her lip biting is his favorite thing about her? Someone please Make. It. Stop.And in the mouth twitch and you’ve got an SE overload.

9. The Skipping.
We all know I’ve hated on Lindzi and Kacie B. for being juvenile but Courtney is just as bad it seems. Why why why does she have to skip to pick up her rose? Not only is it annoying but it is so bitchy in the most childish way possible. I wish Rachel or Emily would have pushed her when she did a hop jump back to her spot in line last night. UGHHHH.

8. Fake Positivity
So at last night’s faux-cocktail party, I wanted to reach through the TV and tip Courtney over in her chair when she shared her thoughts with the group of nervous girls. “I’m not nervous!” she exclaimed before taking a rip of her Pina Colada. While I wished and prayed for her to get the brain freeze to end all brain freezes, she waxed poetic about how the pina colada tasted “so good when it hits your lips.” Probably was icing them down after weeks filled with non-stop biting.

7. Spying from her Balcony like the Evil Queen she is.
While Kacie B., Lindzi and Rachel were enjoying a nice pool-side wrap up to their date with Ben, the Evil Queen Courtney watched over them from her balcony perch – muttering incantations in hopes of thwarting her arch nemesis Kacie B.’s advances on her Prince Charming. Despite watching their puppy-love filled interactions, Courtney the Creeper’s confidence couldn’t be stopped. “I’m not really that worried about her. She’s not like competition.She’s like a little girl in a little boy’s body.” Which leads me to…

6. Courtney’s Superiority Complex.
I’m all for being a strong, confident woman. I’m all for being proud of your achievements. But Courtney’s confidence is becoming its own character. Her false sense of superiority leaches into everything she says and does. Whether it’s (once-again) mentioning she’s a model (more on that later), or her eye-rolling at everything anyone else says, or the dismissive shoulder shrugs, or constantly talking about how confident she is about getting the rose, “Well, I’m feeling good!” – it’s annoying. And beyond that it’s embarrassing. We get it – you’re pretty and he likes you. But is it really necessary to rub it in everyone’s face non-stop? I wish Emily would have just pushed her in her face before leaving the show.

5. She’s a Model.
Or as she put it this week, “I’m the talent and I have to make everyone happy.” Yup. She said she’s the talent. This was before going into a diatribe about how hard her job is and her constant quest to keep everyone happy (and by everyone she must mean everyone NOT on this show). If you missed her “talent” comment you mostly certainly haven’t missed one of the other 134350345345430 times she mentions “I’m a model.”

4. The catch-phrases.
Which one is your favorite? “See ya, wouldn’t want to be  ya.” or “Winning!” Because she’s used both at least five times. Enough. You are not Charlie Sheen (is it bad that I would rather watch Charlie Sheen than Courtney) nor are you a 7-year-old on the playground (well, maybe she is). Maybe you like when she looks into the camera with her dead eyes and fake shoots the girls. I know watching that was a low point in my life. Some other highlights, ‘When in Belize!”

3. The Sing-Songy Talking
Courtney half sings all of her insults. You may not have noticed this since it’s not quite as obvious as her quest to rid her face of its upper lip but it’s there. She uses it to mask insults, mock achievements, to compliment herself and to say “I like YOUUUU” to Ben. Woof Woof Woof.

2. The Insults.
Despite pretending to act like she’s above the insults and the cattiness, Courtney is the queen of the insult. Rather than go into it, watch and learn.

Actually, this video adequately sums up all of the above points.

1. The Act
The most annoying thing about Courtney is the act she’s putting on. The worst part is that it is obviously an act. Like when she tells Ben she needs to be reassured and that she’s having a really hard time before heading back to the hotel to wreck havoc on the psyche of her fellow suite-mates. She puts this little wounded girl act on whenever she’s with Ben. It’s THE WORST! No actually, the worst is the possibility of her winning. Which I’m pretty sure happens. UGH.

 

Okay, I’ll be back with more later! Until then… stay tuned!

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“I got the rose.” The Bachelor’s Courtney Auto-Tune.

One of SE’s most loyal supporters Stephanie sent me this AMAZING link which is sweeping the interwebs today.

I’m not going to write much because the video speaks (in auto-tune) for itself. I will let you know one thing – you will love it.

Don’t tell me you didn’t LOVE that. (No seriously, don’t tell me. Don’t ruin it for me.)

 

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What NOT to do when Dating. The Bachelor Season 16 Episode 6 Recap

This week we’re in Panama City and would you be shocked if I told you it was a perfect place to fall in love?

Other notes from the preview… Kacie B. sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West when she laughs, Courtney will once again expose her ta-ta’s and there will be crying.

Let’s go!

Team Dating is So fun! (Image: ABC)

We know the girls made it because we get a glimpse of home video footage (Where do they keep the rest of this footage? Can they do a special using only this footage? Would we get to see what they look like without makeup? So many questions – so few answers.). We know Ben made it cause his Jeep pulls up intact to the fancy hotel. (Where has he been? Does he go four-wheeling in every location? Does he exclusively drive Jeeps?)

The girls settle into the suite which gives Courtney time to knock on all her bunk mates (eye twitch and embarrassing shoulder shrug included).

Ben saunters in to set the girls aflutter, drops the date card and flees before the girls can tackle him.

Kacie B. – Will our love survive? Pack three things.

Kacie has clearly hit the “I never thought I’d make it this far” part of her wardrobe because she is rocking booty shorts and belly top (I don’t care if they are supposed to be making a come back  – if you’re over 22, belly tops should be a no-no). Not only is her outfit atrocious but someone (cough cough Blakely) needs to help her fix her poof.

They hop into the standard mode of transportation and head off on a journey to a deserted island. WHICH by coincidence (or not) was featured in last week’s 48 Hours Mystery. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

So once alone (and by alone I mean accompanied by the crew and producers) Ben and Kacie B. must share the three items the packed.

Kacie B. packed a stuffed monkey, because she’s really 7-years-old, a corkscrew because she needs liquor to hold a conversation and a bag of candy, see item #1.

I can’t even focus on what Ben brought because Kacie is so ridiculous. For the next 5 minutes, they run around the island digging, chopping coconuts and squealing about being “all alone.” Thankfully, they’ll be “rescued” soon for their dinner date.

Side note: her bathing suit is cute.

On to dinner where I take back everything nice I just said about her bathing suit after seeing this one-shoulder, tie-up, shirts are not dresses number. AND, can someone please get these two a comb and some oil blotting sheets. Yikes, they are SWEATY.

Date Card Break In.

Let’s Get Lost. Emily, Nicki, Lindzi, Kacy S., Courtney and Jamie.

This means that Blakely and Rachel will be heading into the Bachelor Battle Royal.

Rachel, like a normal person, has tons of anxiety about the most awkward third wheel date. Blakely on the other hand is used to performing in front of girls and is psyched for the big date.

Back on the date I am massively distracted by the high levels of frizz on this date. Moving on, Kacie B. decides to lock-up the rose by spilling a story about having an eating disorder in high school. I’m not trying to make light of the situation but c’mon what girl didn’t have an eating disorder in high school for a year.

Ben finds her story endearing and gives Kacie B. the rose. This thrills Kacie to no end, “On a scale of one to wonderful, today was fantastic.” REALLY? Who talks like that? Are we sure she’s not a first grade teacher?

While I was pondering, these crazy kids made their way to the middle of the street to tongue kiss.

End Scene.

Group Date Time  – Let’s Get Lost. Emily, Nicki, Lindzi, Kacy S., Courtney and Jamie.

This date is all about exploring Panama (and each others bodies) and seeing river and jungles and river jungles. Ben’s words, not mine. Swears.

Each of the ladies busted out their shortest cut-off jean shorts in preparation for a day of fun with Ben. It’s time for the annual let’s do something nice with the natives date.

Jorts for everyone! (Image: ABC)

The soccer playing kiddos lure them in and then abandon them where they’re subsequently lead off and prepared to be sold into the South American sex trade.

Okay but really, they’re supposed to change into some tribal garb that can or cannot be worn with a bikini. Courtney, of course, choose the latter and “goes native.” This causes the rest of the girls (including me) to chatter endlessly about what a loose whore Courtney can be.

While the other girls get their hate on, Ben is very appreciative of her lady bits.

In between the black bars covering Courtney’s ta-ta’s we hear a little of Emily’s Spanish skills and sneak a peak at some tribal tattooing. All of this is eclipsed, once again, by Courtney. she decides to band Ben with a sweet little B+C = Heart.

Me Ben, You Mine. (Image: ABC)

Honestly, I’m getting tired of Courtney and her smirking and her mouth twitches and tics. And her endless commentary. I understand it makes good television but she is just getting to be out of control ridiculous. And beyond that she’s bitchy and annoying. And BEYOND even that, her act is getting tired.

After Courtney shakes her naughty bits all over Ben part one of this date is FINALLY over.

On a side note: I would have liked to have seen a little more interaction with the natives and a little less Courtney. But I think I may have already addressed that. (Wait, have I told you all how I feel about Courtney?)

Part Deux:

It’s time for the standard swimming pool cocktail party and Ben is looking forward to a night of “appreciating” the women. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

After a toast to “going with the flow” (didn’t he just say that to Kacie B. – bygones) which is code for “keep your crazy under control.”

First up to bat, Lindzi. This little lady is determined to get things going again with Ben since their one-on-one was eons on ago in Bachelor time. To accomplish this she’s decided to sit as awkwardly close to him as possible. Add on that she just called Ben her “boyfriend” (WOAH WOAH WOAH there missy) and we’ve got ourselves a nice combo of SE. They bring up her trip to dumpsville (is this round two) and the conversation dwindles. So they move past the talking and feeling sharing and straight to the kissing.

Does my forehead look werid? (Image: ABC)

BREAK IN THE ACTION.

Back in the suite, the date card arrives. Rachel looks like a giant ball of nerves while Blakely is doing wind sprints in the hallways gearing up for her big night.

The card arrives and Kacie B. dangles the bait in front of them… Save the last dance for me.

So there will be dancing involved. Well we all know that this bodes well for Blakely (or does it? could those VIP cocktail waitress moves work against her?) who gets paid to dance and not in the classy ballet way.

She’s super hype about the date, I know this because she wails “I LOOOOOOOOOOVE to dance” right in Rachel’s face. Game on bitch. No one messes with Rachel and gets away with it.

Returning poolside, Courtney takes her first stab at Ben. She spends their time together whispering into/licking his ear while repeating the phrase “skinny dipping” as many times as possible. It’s come down to the power of the lady parts and Courtney is not afraid to use hers.

Side note: If Ben doesn’t choose Courtney whoever he did chose has to be HEATED watching this. This segment here is the reason why none of these relationships have worked in the past. Their either based entirely on skinny-dipping or the “winner” is forced to watch the mindless make outs and junk bumping. (Sorry that phrase was disgusting but I’m leaving it in there for some reason.)

It’s come to the point where I can no longer listen/focus on anything Courtney says. All I see are the tics, shoulder shrugs and mouth movements that make we want to punch her through the screen.

I jump back to reality in time to see Courtney messing with his hair (and noticing how similar their mops are), some kissing and we’re out.

On to Jamie (how is she still here?) who decides to go big or go home (WAY more on that later). Little Orphan Jamie has plans for a big smooch with Ben. Unfortunately for her, the Evil Queen Courtney has other plans. So while they chat (and by they I mean while Jamie has verbal diarrhea), Courtney creeps up, sits down and stares at them. Then she takes her cover up off, then she jumps in the pool, then she yells “HEY!” then I stab her in the eye. Sorry, train of thought caught up with me there.

It doesn’t end there. She proceeds to get out of the pool and then lie on a chair caressing herself (WOOF CITY!). Clearly her witchcraft and wizardry catch Ben’s eye and he’s lured into her evil spell.

And because no Mean Girls reference has ever been more appropriate than now: “evil takes a human form in {Courtney}. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.” That’s truth right there straight from the lips of Janice Ian.

And just like that Courtney single-handedly eliminates Jamie (but if not for her those stripper shoes would have surely sent her home).  On to Emily, who has made a resolution to keep her Courtney bashing to a minimum. Let’s see how she’s progressing.

They sit down and Emily decides to break some serious news. There’s a man in her life. A big, strong man filled with love & affection and it’s… THE CHIEF.

Well played Emily. Well played. I’m thinking I may be starting to like her again. They chat (and we later find out, Emily raps), they make amends and then seal it with a big, wet, sloppy open mouth kiss. Take that Courtney.

So this is what happens when you keep crazy under control. (Image: ABC)

Enough about all the kissing though, it’s rose time. Lindzi with her fake tan and heavy eye liner and girlish personality get the rose. This infuriates Courtney and causes her to show her first sign of weakness.

The Queen Bee heads back to her room where she preps since she is 100% sure that Ben will stopping by. He doesn’t. I think she may have cried. Nice Work Ben.

Next Stop – The Dreaded Two on One. Blakely vs. Rachel. Slutty vs. Sweet. Cheap vs. Cute. (I could go on but this post is getting LONG).

We’re going to break down the insane awkwardness of the two-on-one into two distinct parts.

Awkward, No this isn't awkward. (Image: ABC)

The Dancing – Ben & the ladies are learning the salsa. One lady must sit aside and watch while the pair dance oddly in the middle. They each get new salsa ‘fits – cute, fun & flirty for Rachel. Ugly, tacky, pink and prom-style for Blakely. Those descriptions can also sum up each girl on this date. Rachel acts adorable, fun and awesome (can you tell she’s my favorite) while Blakely dances slutty, acts WAY too excited and is generally annoying. (Did you see those stripper pole moves?)

Is this slutty? (Image: ABC)

The Dinner -Here’s where things got real. Each girl gets their time alone with Ben. Rachel is up first and is her normal, charming self. She lets Ben know she isn’t as forward as Blakely but that she really likes him (lord only knows why). She then spills all of her feelings out into his mouth and with an open mouth kiss we’re through.

Side note: Did anyone else notice the cop car lights reflecting on their faces during this date? Must have filmed in a dodgy neighborhood.

On to Blakely. Blakely acts like a 13-year-old girl on her first date… with Justin Bieber. She is WAY too exthusiastic. She goes ON and ON and ON and ON about all her feelings for Ben. She talks about falling in love with him and then she does it. She breaks out her scrap book. Yes, Blakely has been making a scrap book of her journey with Ben. (Apparently scrapbooking is one of the optional activities for the girls when they’re not on dates. They just throw a big wad of magazines, color pencils, construction paper and glue sticks in the room and watch what happens.)I mean that thing was CREEPY. I half expected her to flip to the last page where she had pasted their pictures on to wedding pictures or something. Yikes. Yikes Yikes.

As my best pal Kelly said (via g-chat), “scrapbooks are the kiss of death.” I’m going to take it one step further and say any arts & crafts project would have done it. I mean, really, that thing was BAD. Did you all see Ben’s face? I mean even Shaggy couldn’t keep it together. He was definitely hoping for a surprise CH pop in right then. All I can say is YIKES.

YAY For Rachel! (Image: ABC)

And just like that it’s rose time, yup right at the dinner table. It’s a face-off, a show-down, who will it be? Blakley’s overconfidence and crafting skills did her in and Rachel snags the rose. Oh lord, here it comes. Blakely, who has just poured her heart out to Ben, loses it. She is out of there like a bat out of hell (and I respect that, no stupid hand holding for her). She’s all sobbing and I just wish it would end. Wasn’t the scrap book misery enough?

Rose Ceremony Day

There’s a quick prelude to today’s rose ceremony. CH FINALLY makes an appearance (Where has he been? Doesn’t he know that we need him for guidance and direction?) and the girls are all like “What the what is Chris H doing here? This can’t be good.” They all try not to make eye contact until he finally reveals he’s there for a chat with Kacy S. Ah HA! I knew she couldn’t really be enjoying this charade.

Chris kindly pulls Kacy aside (couldn’t they let the girl grab some shoes?) and tells her that he knows about Michael. Her non-committal lover from back home.

Kacy fights back telling CH that Michael doesn’t love her and she’s looking for marriage. CH isn’t buying it and after a quick exchnge he gets to the point (like only he can) – “Are you still in love with him?” She fesses up and then CH drags her off to Ben’s room so she can confess to him to (“Gah, Dad! Do I haaavvvee to?”). They get to Ben’s room and he is notably surprised (although he shouldn’t have been – there were like 3 camera men in his room). CH pushes Kacy in and makes her spill the beans. Ruh roh.

CH cozies up along side the duo (“Don’t mind me!) while Kacy shares the nitty gritty. Ben is not sugar coating these scooby snacks and he tells Kacy to hit the road. And just like that another one bites the dust.

Cue the SE.

Side note: Does anyone else think Kacy kinda looks like a prettier Paris Hilton?

Okay, so CH tries to be nice (this is no Justin “Rated R” Rego we’re talking about) and consoles Kacy while simultaneously pushing her out of the building. The crying is immediate and never stops. Lots of blabbering on about never finding love and having to start all over again. I could only catch some of it. Partly because I was hiding behind my couch and partly because she was seriously hard to understand. One thing’s for sure though – Looks like this little lady will be making an appearance on Bachelor Pad.

Once Kacy is off the property, CH stops back in with the girls to let them know the news. He also reminds them that the cocktail party is coming up quick so they need to get ready STAT.

The Cocktail Party

Ben arrives and let’s the girls know he has  feelings for everyone. So let’s get kissing!

Nicki is up first. She hand molests him while taking about her intense feelings. They middle school dance and then decide to tongue kiss. Check.

Next up is Jamie. And here is where things get bad FAST. Jamie is determined to make up for the Courtney incident on the group date. She chugs about six cranberry and vodka’s and is ready to show Ben what she’s working with.

Doing her best impression of the Micro Machine Man, Jamie spills her feelings. FAST. She tells him she is going to do what she wants to him (yes, she said that) and straddles him which she says is Fancy (she learned the word from the Reba song so you can understand how she doesn’t quite know the definition). Before I can look away in horror and embarrassment, I hear the sound of her dress ripping. The verbal diarrhea continues and she is uncontrollably saying anything and everything that enters her mind as it relates to Ben.

IreallylikeyouandIwanttobesexyforyouandshowyouhowmuchIwanttobehereandspendtimewithyouandkissyou.

SOMEONE TELL HER TO STOP TALKING!

At this point, Drew has built a pillow fort around himself while I am using my laptop to shield my eyes from the train wreck occurring on screen.

And it doesn’t stop. She goes in for a kiss and starts giggling. Ben is starting to get annoyed and is like “Stop laughing you wackado, I’m trying to get you to shut up with a little tongue and you keep ruining it.”
This girl is an enigma, even Ben’s signature kissing move won’t hold her back.

She’s not going to let Ben escape so easily though. They MUST kiss (or she’ll keep talking forever) so they try again. But this time Jamie gives directions. A LOT OF DIRECTIONS. Will it be open or closed mouth? With or without tongue?
“LORD ALMIGHTY – JUST KISS” I yell at the scream while Drew asks anxiously, “Is it over? I’m not looking until it’s over.” Finally. FINALLY! Ben puts a stop to the madness and we escape.

Rose Time

Kacie Lindzi and Rachel all have roses.

1 odd man out.

Ben’s been thinking a lot about the journey and trust (of course he has), so here we go.

  • Nicki
  • Courtney – NOOOOO!

Who will it be Jamie or Emily (PLEASE SAY EMILY!)

  • Emily

 

Well it was officially clean out the crazies night on The Bachelor. Jamie and her endlessly talking are dunzo.

She goes out in a ball of tears and insecurity and this week’s madness is over. Next stop on the crazy train, Belize!

Whoosh, we made it.

Well we learned this episode that dating scrapbooks are never a good idea, always let the other person talk and no kissing instruction manuals are given on this show.

Oh and we also learned that Emily is still rapping (only redeemable point was including the bit about Ben’s frizzy hair).

What did you think of Jamie’s madness? Blakely’s scrapbook? Courtney’s tribal wear?

Until next time… stay tuned!

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The Evil Plot Continues. The Bachelor Season 16 Episode 4 Recap

Sorry this recap is so later. I watched last night’s episode with my family in Miami and spent the day traveling back home to Louisville. So I apologize for the delay, hopefully it’s worth the wait (probably not but oh well, it’s all I’ve got).

This week we’re in the perfect place to fall in love. Perfect place, perfect guy, everything is just perfect. Well everything except Courtney. But more on that later, let’s hear what Ben thinks about Park City, Utah.

“There is every color in the rainbow” here in Park City according to our resident poet Ben. Ahh Ben, your words paint a beautiful picture.

We get a small clip of home video footage so we know the girls made it. Get ready for a week full of nature…. and champagne.

The girls arrive in their always fabulous hotel home for the week and we’re subject to the standard minute of “Oohs,” “Wows!” and “There’s a hot tub!!”Between gushing, we find out that, the always on the verge of tears, Nicki is really nervous. Shocker.

But there’s no time to fret because Chris Harrison is in the house, looking oh so casual-chic in his half-zip pullover. You can tell he’s just getting this little piece of business out of the way before he heads out for a full day of skiing and apres-ski hot tubbing.

The run down for this episode is as follows: 3 dates. 1 group. 2 one-on-ones. One rose on each date. To which you’re probably saying “duh” but this time Chris isn’t just here to drop the date card and run. He gets real with the chicks and let’s them know that this shizz is important so no more talking about the weather (chances that’s just a request from producers?). It’s time to get real and talk love.

Yup, they're competing for this guy's love and affection.

First up. Rachel – Let Nature Takes It’s Course.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty happy that Rachel finally gets a one-on-one. I’ve liked her from the start so I was hoping this was her time to shine. Unfortunately, I was wrong. But before we get into that, we have to hear Kacie B. whining about missing out on the date card. Our favorite baton twirler has fallen HARD for Bachelor Ben and is having a hell of hard time sharing him with the others. It’s so rough that the thought of it is making her nauseous. Too bad that’s what this show is all about.

 

While the girls grill Rachel about the upcoming date, Kacie B. fights back the spits well that is until Ben walks in and saves her weak stomach. Crisis Averted.

Scratch that, back to Kacie B. who is now talking about how the last thing she wants to see is another girl riding in a helicopter with Ben. This interview is interrupted by the sounds of the girls yelling, “Look! It’s a helicopter!” and her worst fears are realized instantaneously. You’d almost think someone was filming them? Is this a set up?

Enough of Kacie B. and her maddening love for Ben. There’s a helicopter date going on. Side note: I’m happy they’ve brought back the mid-season helicopter date. That was seriously lacking last season.

So up in the heli, Ben and Rachel do exactly what CH told them not to do – they talk about the weather/scenery. Strike One.

Strike two comes moments later as these two take their pic-a-nic basket down to the water front. This date is not coming along as I expected. I was hoping for Rachel to be normal, cool, confident and generally awesome. Instead she comes off as guarded, awkward, mildly insecure but still really pretty.

They pile into a canoe where the awkward convo continues. Thankfully Ben uses his signature move, the filling awkward silences with an open mouth kiss, and while it’s still uncomfortable to watch, it’s WAY better than listening to them say “Wow, it’s so pretty out here.” for the 33342305345th time.

Back at the resort…Monica baits Kacie B. into talking about how obsessed she is with Ben. Has she been planted by the producers? A few crazy in love comments later and we’re back to …

Rachel and Ben. Maybe it’s because they’re not total trainwrecks but this is a BORING date. Really boring. Rachel spends almost every moment telling us how nervous she is. We get it Rachel. But really, this is a television show you gotta do SOMETHING. Anything over than talking about the scenery and weather.

Since this date gets painfully drawn out, I’m going to spare all of us the misery. Here’s how it goes down. Dinner date. Awkward convo. Rachel finally opens up. Something about being bad at dating. Looking pretty. Drinking Champagne. Open Mouth Kissing. Rose Getting. Date Ending.

Group Date: Taking the Bait with Jamie, Kacy S., Blakely, Lindzi, Samantha, Nicki, Kacie B. and DUH DUN DUN Courtney.

A note about Courtney before we head out on the group date.

Courtney is a psychopath…. and running the risk of eating her bottom lip. (Is that bugging the shit out of anyone else? Seriously, that lip thing is beginning to INFURIATE me. How can we make it stop?)

Okay, now that that’s out of my system, we can focus on the date.


The girls put on their best country looks and meet up with their “cowboy” which in Park City is synonymous with “Knight in Shining Armor with long flowing brown hair.”

Turns out they all get to go horse back riding which immediately sends Lindzi into a horsey frenzy. Ole girl loves her some horses.

While Lindzi prefers the company of horses, Nicki prefers anything and everything to do with Ben. She is some obsessed with him, which wouldn’t be so absurd except that that it seems like she hasn’t spent more than 10 minutes alone with him this season.

The girls dismount and it’s on to the fly fishing portion of the date. Here’s where things really get fishy.

Outfitted in their waders, Kacie B. continues along the road to crazy town while Courtney continues along the road to be hated by every TV viewer in America.

Courtney on Kacie B. (this starts the trend of the producers sharing Courtney’s insights on all the girls) “I think [she] is sweet and cute… and annoying.” Oh Courtney, we can always count on you to say something nice.

This leads nicely into the …

Live look at the girls left behind. Yes, it appears that everyone is just sitting around and talking shit about Courtney which, at first, seems a little annoying but then I realize that if I was there I would totally be doing the same thing (except I would never be there, such a conundrum).

Back on the date though, Courtney can do no wrong in our Bachelor’s eyes. He is a smitten kitten. The dorky smile on his face as he talks about her says it all.

Ben abandones the safety of the other girls and ventures into Courtney’s evil web of lies. There he is caught (no pun intended) and hooked (okay, that one was intended). Courtney holds him in her grasp with her hair touching, lip biting and stupidity.


The producers realize the girls haven’t had a drink in approximately 5 hours, so they hand them all a beer which gives Lindzi the liquid courage to sabotage Courtney’s one on one time. She’s about to hook Ben but then Courtney hooks a fish and Lindzi is sent back to the back, tail between her horsey legs.

Courtney’s evil plan conitnues to unfold perfectly while the girls complain aloud, pissed that the Wicked Witch has caught the proverbial fish that is Ben.

Enough of this fishing nonsense, let’s skip ahead to the bikinis and binge drinking portion of our date.

Side note: How have Jamie and Kacy S. made it this long?

And as if on cue, ready to provide an answer to everyone’s question – Ben pulls Kacy S. aside. Ben is clearly taken with her which is confusing since I thought he just met her.

While they chit chat, the girls consider toasting/making a pact (that’s how you make a pact on this show – with champagne, duh) to not interrupt each others alone time. Nicki immediately pulls back her glass, says “Nicki don’t play that” and storms off to interrupt the shit out of Kacy’s alone time. Get it girl.

During their solo time, Nicki drops a sob story about her boss passing away. They then bond because Ben too lost someone before leaving for filming. This is an emotional moment. How do I know that? Because the producers cued up Track 7: Super Sad Dead Friend/Relative Music from The Bachelor: Hits to Hook Up To. Their shared emotion obviously leads to an open mouth kiss which concludes their time together because obviously, what more could Ben want with her?

On to the next one, which as it happens is one of my favorites (more in a train wreck way than a seriously good way) – Samantha Sash. Sweet little Sam brought along the girls, who she thinks are her secret weapons. Instead they are her achilles heal, well them and her acid mouthed tongue.

Here’s where things get weird. So Sam grills Ben. Asking him why she hasn’t had a one-on-one, wondering if he really likes her, wondering where this will go. Then Ben breaks it to her. She is “highly emotional” and this shit ain’t going no where. Samantha is as shocked as we are, the crying starts, she says her goodbyes and she hits the road.

The worst part is that he walks her out. Just let her leave with dignity.

As Samantha exits, Courtney  (who apparently is the new narrator – COME BACK CH! Don’t leave us alone with her!) mutters “Excellent” under her breath and enjoys seeing another girl bite the dust.

With Samantha discarded, Ben turns his attention to the always needy Kacie B. He takes her off to his room where he makes her feel “special.” No telling what exactly that means but I don’t think I want to know. After some insanely uncomfortable and LOUD kissing (during which time I noticed how horrible Ben’s hair really is), Ben takes Kacie B. back to hot tub where we have to pay more attention to Courtney.

The last part of her plot to ruin the group date involves her laying on top of Ben in her bikini while complaining that she is “having a hard time pretending to be human.” She drops this line on him as he goes in for a big, wet, sloppy kiss. She puts the kibosh on that. No kissing until she gets that rose. She weaves a sob story about how she’s feeling vulnerable, unsure and is not doing well in the house (ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I scream at the TV to which my family responds with scared glances). Since Ben is totally wrapped up in her spell, he immediately jumps up, sprints to the rose and delivers it at her feet. She rewards him with a scooby snack while I yell, scream and get oddly upset about his idiocy (why why why am I surprised).

This exchange makes me 100% positive that she is an evil witch. Well that and her saying “Winning!” a la Charlie Sheen three times in this episode alone. Ugh, I hate her.

Craters and Country with Jennifer.

The last date is by far the worst date of the season so far and not just because of Jennifer’s awful outfit.

Let’s talk about it. You’re telling me that no one in that house could have lent her something better to wear than a ratty sweater, some baby blue uber flare bell bottoms circa 2001 and some low-top Converse sneakers. Blech.

The first part of the date involves Jennifer and Ben hiking to a crater where they rappel into the pool below. This TERRIFIES Jennifer for some reason and I stop paying attention as she shrieks like a little girl the entire way down. They take a quick swim (and we get a look at Jennifer’s horrible yellow bikini that she picked up 15 years ago at 5-7-9) and we’re painfully forced to watch them tread water. I think that may be the worst SE I’ve had all season. Jennifer seriously looked like she might drown. Someone throw that girl a floaty. Please. Make. It. Stop.


On to dinner, where “nothing can ruin [her] perfect date with Ben.” Um, I can think of one thing, not getting a rose.

After some seriously boring conversation, Jennifer snags the rose and some loud wet kisses. He must have a thing for red heads.

Getting the rose means Jennifer has earned the right to attend the final portion of the date – a Clay Walker concert. This hurts my heart since I like Clay Walker. You’re better than this Clay – so much better. They sing (but definitely don’t know the words) and dance. One thing that Jennifer didn’t get is dipped. Did you all see her throw her head back and leg up, not once but TWICE, in an attempt to get dipped? It was AH – MAH – ZING. If you DVR’ed it, please go back and check it out. I definitely watched it like 6 times.

Rose Ceremony Time.

As I said, I watched this episode at home and before this segment starts my mom decides to go and take a bath. I let her know that she is certainly going to miss the best part, you know the part where they get drunk and wear pretty dresses. Alas, that wasn’t enough to keep her interested. Her loss.

Rachel, Courtney and Jennifer are in the clear. Game on for the rest of the gals.

Okay but before, I have to say this Courtney lip thing is literally driving me crazy. That can’t be normal right? Why does she do that!?!

After a quick toast, he grabs Monica for some one on one time. While they get to know one another, Emily continues to fall pray to Courtney’s evil plan. We haven’t really talked out it this recap but anyone who watched the episode knows that Courtney is literally driving Emily crazy. She is unraveling and all Courtney can do is watch and smile, oh yeah and mess with her hair.

Jamie, who hasn’t spoken once this episode, drops some truth “Obviously you care about him or this wouldn’t be bothering you so much.” Uh, you think. Courtney has clearly gotten under her skin.

So Emily grabs some alone time and instead of wasting it talking about the weather, she wastes it by talking about how disingenuous one of the girls is. She says she won’t name names but then says “this girl got the rose on the group date.” Okay, way to stay cool. But much to Emily’s dismay, Ben rejects Emily’s “gossip” and tells her to go make friends.

After her awkward time with Ben, Emily comes back to talk to Kacy and Jamie about her unraveling. Bad choice to confide in Kacy, who it turns out is Courtney’s one friend in the house (so that’s how she’s stuck around so long- Courtney has let her in on the evil plot. Things are coming together).

Kacy runs back to her puppet master to let her know everything Emily has said about her. Shits about to go down.

“I’m a nice person. Don’t fuck with me,” says Courtney. Followed by, “I almost just wanna rip her head off and verbally assault her. Or shave her eyebrows off in the middle of the night.” Definitely something a nice person would do.

After some brief one-on-one time with Nicki, we get back to the real drama – the  Emily and Courtney hair twirling stand off. That’s how you know this shit is serious. Well that and the overly dramatic music.

The girls gather around in a circle and the show down begins. Courtney cackles and her evil lip takes on Emily. Emily stands no chance and withers under the pressure. She’s all sobs and runny mascara while Courtney doesn’t even break a sweat although she did sneak in another “Winning!” Woof.

Emily clearly has cracked under Courtney’s spell. The side effects are a serious face/nose twitch.

After lots more sadness, CH is on the scene looking good. But before e can even get a word in edge wise, Ben cuts in and ruins the moment.

Side notes: What’s the deal with Blakely’s love of super long dangly earrings? Are Ben and Chris wearing matching suits?

Rose time: 8 roses to hand out. One girl heading home.

Rachel, Jennifer and the Wicked Witch have Roses.

  • Lindzi
  • Jamie (still lying low, still hanging around, still wearing sparkles)
  • Nicki
  • Kacie B.
  • Elyse (how is she still here?)
  • Blakely (one more girl gets to get highlights)
  • Kacy S. (at least we know who she is now)
  • Emily gets put on notice. The, as we call it around here, “keep your crazy under control” warning rose.

Aw Monica has to go home. She wasn’t half bad and her limo cry wasn’t so embarrassing. I mean, a little but not tragic.

Next stop: Puerto Rico.

To which the one-upper aka Courney replies “I was there two months ago.” Someone punch her please.

It seems next week will be chock full of more Emily & Courtney drama. That and Kacie B. being overly dramatic and familiar with Ben.

What did you think of this episode? Do you hate Courtney too? Are you afraid if you comment yes that she will cast a spell on you?

Until next time… stay tuned!

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Playing with Hearts and other tales from the Prince of Pinot. The Bachelor Season 16 Episode 2 Recap

We’re back and of course Ben is wearing baby blue Keds. Seriously, where did they find this guy?

We find out that ABC is as unenthusiastic about this season as we are and are forcing Ben to host the “girls” (aren’t they a little old to be constantly referred to as girls?) at his own home (clean the sheets mom) in his hometown of Sonoma.

The Prince of Pinot Image Source: ABC

But alas some things never change and they are still arming the contestants with video cameras for those great candid moments on the trip (‘Hey! We’re going to Sonoma! We’re on a plane! Woo Hoo!). While the girls gather up their suitcases full of tank tops, sequin dresses and bikinis – Ben walks the dog from Frasier around town (Even the dog hates those Keds) pondering what his father would think of this whole charade. I’m guessing something like “Are you crazy?” or “Really? You own a winery, still have a head of hair (despite its unfortunate styling) and are under 35 and you can’t find a steady chick?”

I say a little prayer and hope that Ben’s dad is trying to look past the absurdity of this whole search for “true love” from his perch on the other side.

During said prayer, Ben drives his open air jeep where he catches up with the girls who have just arrived in a haze of hot rod convertibles and champagne.

Ben welcomes the ladies to one of the (classiest) boozing capitals of the world with, what else, a glass of champagne poolside. Duh. But all the fun and games are short-lived cause he’s got a date-card to give out. Before they can sink their crazy eyes in him, Ben spits out Kacie B’s name and then retreats, allowing the girls to begin ripping her to shreds (both literally and figuratively).

Before we can even hear about how excited Kacie B. is to get the VERY FIRST date card, Courtney jumps into the camera frame to remind us all that she’s a model. Yeah, a model. Like a real live model. A really pretty one. Way prettier than anyone else. Seriously though. She’s a model.

Kacie B.’s saccharine sweet mug finally gets a little screen time and when compared to the evil monster that is Courtney, I can’t help but like her a little… tiny… itsy… super small… morsel of a little bit.

She packs her suitcase full of excitement and hope and gets ready for her do (it) or (let your feelings, dignity and confidence) die date. Yup, she either snags that rose (c’mon, like that won’t happen) or goes home.

See You in Sonoma – One on One with Kacie B. 

Before I get into this, I need to state for the record that just typing the letters “Kacie B.” gives me secondary embarrassment. I don’t know why but something about the way it sounds just makes me cringe. I thought you all should know since it affects all other decisions regarding her.

Kacie B. meet Sonoma. Sonoma meet Kacie B.

Unfortunately, there is no one for Kacie to meet since it appears the streets of Sonoma are deserted. Everyone’s probably off getting drunk (the classy kind of drunk, you know, off wine) somewhere.

Thankfully the streets are empty and the residents of this seemingly quaint town are spared from the high-pitched cackle that Kacie’s passes off as her laugh. It’s both perky and dark at the same time. I can’t pin it down.

The stop in a candy store where Kacie questions the “number of licks” in a way that only the most naive  girl can while Ben buys the most boring candy ever created, The Charleston Chew.

The most interesting thing to come out of this stop is a baton that Kacie steals from the window display. (Okay she probably didn’t steal it, but at least this way she gets a little edge.) It turns out (SO COINCIDENTALLY) that Kacie is a former baton twirling star. So upon spotting her instrument of choice, she snags it and leads Ben on parade through the street of Sonoma.

This date is all about learning. Ben teaches Kacie to play piano and Kacie teaches him to twirl a baton. Somehow I’m thinking she is getting the better deal. Although I’m having a hard time believing this administrative assistant will retain any of that piano lesson.

Post parade, they head over to a little cafe where the settle into one of the more boring conversations ever filmed. While the jabber on, I imagine that this is what happens when a guy from the AV club and a girl from the marching band go on a date after “blossoming.”

Back at the PJ Party it’s… AHHHH…. Date Card TIME!!!! 

Brittney, Rachel, Jennifer, Blakeley, Emily, Jenna, Shawn, Monica, Samantha, Nicki, Jamie and Jaclyn all get a chance to “play with” Ben.

Blakeley aka the cocktail waitress aka the stripper is pissed about going on a group date which confuses me cause isn’t every day a group date for her?

 Back in Boringville 

Kacie B. snags the rose while Ben uses his odd cadence to tell her that she has reaffirmed his journey (where do they get this stuff?). After throwing down an open mouth kiss, they excuse themselves from the table to head back to his room. Wait, what? Aw boo.

I know Twirling a Baton is ridiculous! Image: ABC/Buddy TV

Rather than let this date follow a normal date pattern, ABC decides to throw a loop in things and have these two crazy kids head over to the local theatre. Nope, it’s not Train performing. Nope, it’s not the trailer for the latest Anna Faris movie. It’s the video from their imaginary wedding rehearsal dinner. Yes, a video full of toddler videos, baby snap shots and middle school performances. Consider me creeped out. Not creeped out the way I was when ABC tried to trick William and Ashley into getting married on their first date. No, this is a little trickier. Yes, it seems cute on the surface but it’s not. Nope, it’s weird. And if you don’t agree well then this blog is not for you.

The pair each shed some crocodile tears in their one on ones before we cut back to one more spit swapping.

In Ben’s words (yup, this is an exact quote). “Chemistry was there. Things were good. Food was good. Wine was good. Everything was …. [insert weird, awkward face here]… gouuuud.” Woof.

Prince Pinot and the Seven Whores. 

Okay, I know that titles a little harsh but oh well, just go with it.

"For you, I see.... Dragon." Image Source: ABC (Ron Koberer)

The group date is a competition. 12 girls all competing for his attention and by compete I mean display their boobs are prominently as possible (*cough Cough* Blakeley).

Turns out the gals are going to be in a play (OMG! This is SO exciting! Let me cover my mouth to show you how insanely excited I am about this!). The girls seem thrilled. Thrilled that is until they find out that the play was written and will be directed by a gang of 12-year-olds.

The kids, both adorable and in that awkward phase, gang up to bring out even more insecurity in the ladies by making them audition for ridiculous roles like “the Hippie” and “the Weasel.”

When it appears they have nothing left to give (except their cleavage), the kids throw them a bone and dole out roles like candy. The girls they “like” get prime roles where they get to lock lips with Prince Pinot. The other floozies just have to float around on stage in silly costumes pretending like their not drunk off of the pink punch the producers have been slipping them all day.

As the roles are handed out, I can’t help but wonder how the parents explained this insane “game/relationship” show to their offspring. I’m keeping my fingers crossed hoping that none of these parents will let their kids watch any of this episode (or any episode really). Definitely not something you think about for your child as they grow into a mature young man or lady. ‘You know son, one day I hope you can go on this game show where you hook up with a bunch of girls and pretend it’s real love.” Okay, after writing that, I’m pretty sure tons of dads would want that for their son. Definitely NOT for their daughter but totally for their son.

While Jenna flounders in her role and the kids punish Blakeley for her overexposure but tossing her into a gingerbread cookie costume (you go kids), some of the girls embrace their parts. Samantha, Emily and Rachel must have slipped the kids a $20 since they get some of the cutest costumes AND get to kiss Ben. Monica falls easily into her role of the dragon and if only Courtney were here, she could play the part she was born to play – Evil Queen.

More on that back at the hotel… 

Courtney has been deciding why she hates everyone while simultaneously one-upping everything anyone says. (“Oh you and Ben had a great date? Well Ben and I have already had six great dates and he told me he loves me and we’re going to get married.”) I mean, isn’t it obvious their connection was “undeniable.”

Woof.

It’s Play Time

It’s no surprise that Ben loves a play written by 12-year-olds. That and I think he loves being called Prince Pinot.

ABC has once again nailed it with their date creation. Getting these gals to replace their low-cut tops and short shorts with bulky, unflattering and best of all, ridiculous costumes is a pure stroke of genius. For some reason I feel like Chris Harrison may be behind this gem. He may have also fed Samantha the best line of the night, “What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man and a hooker? Blakely.”

Now Dance! Image Source: ABC

The play is mostly a revolving door of odd characters looking to plant a big wet smooch on Ben with the one exception of Monica whose goal is to blow off his clothes with a New Year’s decoration. Being full of hot air she is able to easily blow off his ridiculous lamb costume which drives the ladies (and it should be noted – NONE of the audience) in to a fit of excitement. It would appear that none of them have ever seen an adult male without his shirt off before.

It is that exact moment which causes the painfully naive Nicki to proclaim “Words cannot describe how amazing things were with Ben today.” Fortunately for Nicki, words cannot describe how I feel about that sentence.

The crowd cheers when the play finally comes to a close and each audience member collects the $20 they were paid to sit through that charade as they head out the door.

End Scene.

Now that the tom foolery is complete, it’s on to the standard group date routine: pool + open bar + bikinis + open mouth kissing + rose = pure insanity.

I’m not going to go into all the pool party details. Here’s what you need to know. Chicken Fights, Bikinis, Bathroom stall fits, Open Mouth Kissing, Tops Worn as Dresses, Awkward Convos, More Open Mouth Kissing, Spying, Crying.

I think other than finding out that Ben has a thing for red-heads, the most important discovery (not surprising, just important) was:

  • Everyone Hates Blakeley. From her overly long earrings (I mean I’m sure that’s all she wears at her “day” job but those things are a serious hazard) to her overly exposed bosom, Blakeley is public enemy numero uno on this group date. She doesn’t help her cause by slipping her tongue down Ben’s throat in front of the other gals and then bragging about it later. Seriously, they all hate her. Like A LOT. Despite their glares, snide comments and innuendo she still snags the rose. What a biatch. Oh and she talks about her Zodiac sign. Blech.

This date becomes so predictable that Drew and I spend at least five minutes discussing the bets Chris Harrison makes before each episode. We think he lays down challenges for Ben to make it more interesting (lord knows we all need it). I’m guessing it’s like can you kissing 10 of the 18 girls, make 4 cry and say ruh-roh all in one episode? Think about it. Why else would he be so happy at the rose ceremonies? He’s there to collect his winnings.

Okay enough of my rambling. On to Ben’s date with the Soul Sucking Evil Queen who goes by Courtney.

Don’t eat the Apple!!! Or Spinning the Bottle with a Model.

So Courtney goes all BOOO YAH on the girls when she gets her date card. I’m pretty sure she tries to start a fight with Kacie B. which automatically makes me like Kacie more. I’m also a little disgusted that she actually said, “How does that taste coming out of your mouth?” Um, who says that. Yeah, no one.

Don't make me eat you. Image Source: ABC/Buddy TV

Don’t worry, she followed it up with a ‘Winning’ in her one on one interview, so yeah if you even thought about liking her for like a half second, you should have changed your mind then.

But alas, Courtney has cast an evil spell on Ben and so she’ll get a chance to steal his soul, along with Scotch his helpless pooch, on the trademark picnic date.

Thankfully Ben remembers that Courtney is a model which saves us from three unnecessary reminders. No doubt it will come up at least 8 times over the course of the date though. So Ben packs up a picnic and takes her out into the forest where he leaves her for dead (wishful thinking).

They sit by a creek and talk about how awesome they each are (don’t worry, Courtney is way more awesome – she said so like 8 times). We learn they’re both rich and lead really awesome lives that none of us can even imagine, yeah they are that awesome.

After a quick snack on a blanket, they pack up, hop in Ben’s bulldozer (yes, you read that correctly) and move to another outdoor location where this time they eat at a table.

Throughout the date, I try to avoid looking into Courtney’s empty, glassy eyes since I’m pretty sure she is capable of stealing my soul is I look too long. Apparently no one warned Ben because he is under her mind control within minutes.

I wish Scotch could talk, you know he would lay down the law with Ben. He also would be best friends with CH. (I’m just saying.)

Dinner is filled with Scooby-ism, attempting to open mouth kiss and awkward fawning. Woof.

It appears that Courtney will be hanging around for a while because she snags the rose and with it, Ben’s future.

Cheers to Insecurity!

Now that all the dates are complete, it’s time to liquor these girls up and keep them awake until 2:30 a.m. hopelessly pinning away for a rose that confirms their self-worth.

Ben immediately grabs Lindzi who wonders aloud ‘do you even remember my name?’ Oh stop it, Lindzi. You’re better than that. I thought I might be able to like her and then she throws out that “dirt my makeup” line. Bitch please, that is such a lie. You’ve been wearing makeup since you were nine and don’t even try to tell me otherwise.

Next up he grabs some one on one with my new favorite, Samantha. This awesomeness is ruined when Super Tramp aka Blakeley comes and “steals him away.” This thievery leads all the girls into a fit of rage but rather than “stealing him back” they would rather sit around and talk about how rude it was. Okay Stephanie Tanner. Get on with it.

As the cocktails flow, so do the tears. It’s not long before Blakeley is crawling in a sea of luggage fake crying for attention (how mature of her), Jenna has retreated to the trademark Ashley Hebert purple comforter for consolation and a couple other random girls whose names I don’t know begin welling up.

Back to Jenna. One simple conversation with Ben throws this girl into a tail spin. Her awkward stuttering, nonsensical ramblings and glassy eyes made me want to retreat to the inner cushion of my couch. This poor girl is a mountain of SE which means she’ll be perfect for Bachelor Pad.

Bless Her Heart. Image Source: Buddy TV/ABC

Once she realizes that she is making little to no sense, she runs away from Ben while engaging in a fight between her dueling personalities. We painfully watch as she insults herself then reassures herself before insulting herself again. Yikes.

Since it’s finally rose time, Ben does a sweep of the house, pulling out all the crazies from their hiding spots.

It’s heart breaking time!

CH is back on the scene and between counting his winnings, he let’s the girls know that some of them will be heading home (or the loony bin) shortly.

Let’s do this.

Blakely, Kacie B. and Courtney already have their roses.

  • Jennifer – Told you Ben has a thing for red heads. (Apparently so does my husband, since she is now his fave.)
  • Emily – I kinda like her if I look past the whole rapping thing.
  • Elyse – Who?
  • Jacklyn – Really?
  • Erica – Rebecca Black lives to see another Friday.
  • Rachel – Love her even if she did forget her pants at the pool party.
  • Lyndzi
  • Nicki
  • Casey S. – Where has this girl been the entire season? Clearly she’s keeping her crazy under control.
  • Samantha – Woo Hoo!
  • Monica
  • Jamie

And….

  • Brittney

Shawn and Jenna both are sent packing. Shawn keeps her dignity and leaves like a proper adult. Jenna on the other hand dissolves into a giant ball of tears, sadness and shear madness. The conversation we’re forced to watch between her split personalities is painful. Let’s make sure she isn’t left alone for too long.

All in all, a pretty solid episode. Nothing too spectacular or exciting but hey, what can you expect when Ben is the Bachelor. It looks like things will be spiced up next week though.

What’s in store for next week you ask? Oh just a little trip to San Fran along with a surprise guest in stripper shoes and more fighting, crying and binge drinking!

Until then… stay tuned!

 

 

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