Tag Archives: bentley

Weak Sauce. The Bachelorette Season 7 Men Tell All Special

Not going to lie. The “Men Tell All” special snuck up on me this weekend. There I was enjoying a little Sunday when all of a sudden I realized, “Mother of pearl. Tonight is the Men Tell All special. Which means another chance to see Ames make weird faces and act awkward. Woo Woo!” Yup, it happened just like that.

But then about 30 minutes in, I wanted it to end. Basically the same way I feel about every episode this season – excitement followed by disappointment and boredom.

They're BAAACCCK! (ABC)

So rather than go into a detailed re-cap here are my high and low lights:

HIGHS! 

  1. Drunk Tim – It was a pleasure finally meeting you.
  2. Mask Dude montages = solid gold entertainment. Mask dude poops, Mask Dude does yard work. Mask Dude vacuums. Mask Dude will always be lonely.
  3. Required Lookalike Revelation: Bentley looks like a smushed big toe with curly hair (betcha didn’t see that one coming).
  4. Ashley’s voice – No for real, it’s really high.
  5. Ames ballroom dancing with the Jabberwockeez. Ames already having tried the larvae in whatever foreign country they were in. Ames in pink boxing gloves. Ames. Ames. Ames.
  6. Getting to watch the Love Lantern get peed on again!
  7. Ashley getting a toe cramp and Ryan trying to rub it out. Why why why wasn’t this in the episode?
  8. Ryan not taking himself too seriously and realizing he was kind of a creep (and by kind-of I mean a GIANT creep).
  9. Michelle Money breaking down the Bentley gossip.
  10. BACHELOR PAD 2 PREVIEW 

Honorable Mentions: Nick for being a hottie willing to stand up to defend EVERYONE except William who he hated on continuously. Mickey for being there and looking cute. And Chris Harrison for finally doing some work.

LOWS 

  1.  Jason, Molly AND Ali all back? Did ABC realize that this season is beyond lame so they had to throw some other random contestants in the mix to liven it up.
  2.  Michelle Money, Justin “Rated R” Rego and Kasey “Ready to get my guard on” Kahl - See # 1 for explanation.
  3. Chris Harrison Hyperbole. Ole dude  must be paid for every one he uses. No show in the history of television has used more hyperbole. (Gotcha!)
  4. Oh Ryan P., nope Ashley does not want to meet your family. ABC, please stop forcing us to relive this breakup.
  5. Ashley’s bugged-out eyes and crazy hands. You’re only supposed to have ONE five-hour energy.
  6. William talking about anything.
  7. Finding out that Ashley uses Vaseline at night. Don’t think that was the product placement/endorsement they were looking for.
  8. Bentley not coming on the show (was thinking about making this a High but couldn’t decide).
  9. Consty not getting NEARLY enough screen time. WAY too much Ryan. Uh hello ABC, this dude actually made it to the final 3 (I think this officially means Ryan is the next Bachelor. WOOF).
  10. The Fireside Chat. Hey Guys, it’s like a million degrees EVERYWHERE. Why the F are you two talking in front of a fireplace? Is it cold? Are you craving smores? Is the sight of burning wood soothing for you?
So there you have it folks. My top ten highs and lows (in no particular order) from last night’s “special” (wasn’t very special for me).

Finale time tonight. Let the countdown to true love begin (and by True Love, I mean Bachelor Pad 2).
Here’s the preview in case you missed it!

Until then… stay tuned!

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The one where we finally ride in a helicopter. The Bachelorette Season 7 Episode 9 Recap

So can we all agree and say last night’s episode was a leeetle too drawn out. When we get to the very end of the season (hallelujah!) filling two hours can seem a little forced and when you add in the fact that it’s Ashley we’re watching, well it is forced. But alas, I stuck it out and have decided to awake at the crack of dawn to bring you the recap a little earlier. Let me know what you think of the earlier edition (1. because I heart comments 2. because I’m not sure if it will be as good without at least one cup of coffee in my system).

So we’re in Fiji – is this the same resort they go to every year? Sure looks like it. Either way, if you and your honey are looking for a Bachelorette style get away, it can be yours here. In case you weren’t aware Ashley tells us, “Fiji is a set of islands in the South Pacific.” Well thanks for the geography lesson Ash. I’m guessing Ames dropped that knowledge bomb on you and you just had to share it with all of us. Then an ocean lends a geyser like spray of water into the air which I’m guessing is the producers (and nature) letting us know that Ashley’s love will explode on this episode.

Up until this point, Ashley has made a habit of wearing tops as dresses, now we see her mixing it up and using tops as skirts. Either way, she’s not going to let a beach trip to Fiji stop her from wearing her favorite 9 inch heels. Sand shmand.

Ashley then provides us with an unnecessary recap of the final three aka the twins and JP. I pay very little attention here (since it feels like I’ve seen this montage at least 3 times already) with the exception of commenting on how much I love Consty’s family and gushing on JP’s sequence (during which I catch myself awkwardly smiling at the screen, SE much). I feel it is worth noting here that I am actually proud of Ashley for being able to keep JP around to the end. Nice work little lady.

We’re back in Fiji where Ashley, dressed in her standard Flashdance attire (really, how many off-the-shoulder tops can one girl own?), contemplatively reflects by the ocean. This moment of clarity is followed by some journaling at which point Drew pips in with his insightful comment of the show, “She really is 15.” Yes, yes she is. This comment also sets a tone for this episode during which we’re reminded far too often how much Ashley is a 15-year-old girl trapped in a 17-year-old body.

One last recap of the journey and then we’re off! Except we’re NOT! Duh Duh Duh.

What the What?

When we return from the break, the producers have gone all handheld camera on us. The music, editing and ugly flip-flops cue the arrival of the ominous swamp monster that is Ryan. So long happy sun-loving dude and hello creepy, scary, psycho axe murderer. The producers surely hate Ashley if they are allowing this creeper (who’s clearly one wrong word away from a mental break) to come back and kill her.

She invites Ryan into the villa and I yell ‘NO!’ instinctively at the TV. Doesn’t she know you never let the scary bad man inside?

This is definitely not the kind of surprise Ashley was looking for and she looks about as awkward as I feel, so I’m thinking for this short moment we may have something in common. Ry, as Ashley as now taken to calling him, strings together a creepy monologue that includes Thai chi and something about not being able to get back to his sun-sacrificing.

I am sooooo (I really hate having to add all those extra O’s but there is absolutely no other way to describe my feelings) weirded out. The desperation is making me physically ill (which is good for Drew since he gets everything I am now too sick to eat for dinner). When Ryan says “Call me crazy.” I do and then pick up my phone and make a call requesting he be taken in for evaluations. The secondary embarrassment that they’ve crammed into these few minutes is insane. This is the kind of SE that gives me anxiety and I just want it to end.

I think Ryan can sense that Ashley (and all of America) is creeped out so he let’s her know he’s made a little vacay of his trip halfway around the world and that she can find him in his room where unbeknownst to us, he will wait, alone until Ashley comes to see him. Then he’s gone and left to creep out the producers and the hotel staff. It’s raining as he leaves and I wonder if it’s symbolic.

Now back to our regularly scheduled Bachelorette.

Date #1  aka It’s about damn time we were on a yacht.

Ashley waves excitedly to Ben like the 15-year-old that she is. Despite saying that he’s really excited, it’s hard to believe when his voice sounds like he is being forced to walk the plank (yup, I just made a pirate reference. Not really sure where that came from bu I like it). I know I’ve noticed it in the last couple episodes but has he been this monotone all season? I think I must have just been distracted by his normalcy.

Ashley tells Ben they’ll be going on a boat ride and Ben asks if it’s the lame dingy tied up to the dock (which is not an odd question since they haven’t really done anything cool on dates all season). Ashley let’s Ben know that the producers have finally let her play with the big boy toys and they will be cruising in style on a yacht! I thought they had all but eliminated nice things from Ashley’s season. Looks like they were just holding back on us.

All aboard where these two act like a pair of kids. They shout “you go first” in unison, then yell “jinx”, begin giggling and then grab their kiddie cocktails from TGI Fridays.

The theme of this date is agreement. They have made a pact in advance to agree on EVERYTHING and it is exhausting. This agreement even extends to the color of their clothes. Barf. After a day of lathering each other up in sunscreen (Ashley got a little suggestive in her positioning here, not sure how I feel about it), snorkeling and canoodling, these two are spent. Honestly, I would go into more detail on their date but it’s not really necessary. Imagine letting the annoying cheerleader from 1st period sophomore year and her strange but cute boyfriend on a yacht. That is what it was like.

You missed a spot.

They both agree (I know, it’s so weird that they would agree) that today was their “best day ever” and then it’s time for dinner and by dinner, I mean the pre-fantasy suite portion of their date.

Ben borrows one of JP’s v-neck tees (Wait, is that thing Mesh? And a Sweater? Yikes!) and awkwardly open his arms wide for a big Ben hug. Ashley accepts because she knows that a big Ben hug is the first in a series of embraces that will occur on fantasy suite night. It is worth noting that for once, I actually like what Ashley is wearing. Please don’t judge me.

Ben is getting all mushy and his nervousness is translating to weird awkwardness at dinner. It’s even more awkward with accompanied by sad piano music.”That’s why i have this grin on my face. I’m quite happy.” He’s saying this but his face says pained sadness.Could have fooled me Ben.

He has decided that tonight is the night to tell Ash that he la,la,la loves her. But the conversation leading up to the awkward one-sided I love you (did you all know that Ashley isn’t allowed to say ‘I Love You’ back? I had no idea but Drew has known all along. I guess only one of us has been paying attention to the “rules) is making me cringe. I feel the onset of  SE goosebumps and cover my face in horror. Ben is dancing around it and I don’t want him to say it  and yet i do because I just want it to end (which is probably what you’re feeling about this blog post). It’s like waiting for a shot at the doctor’s office -  you know its going to be horrible but you also just want it to be over.

“You know, I’m on my way to, you know, the whole I love you thing.” Did he just hiccup in the middle of that? Did that count as I love you? Woof, this whole conversation is painstakingly awful.

ABC puts us out of our misery and cuts to Ashley who says “I’m hoping tonight Ben will show me how he feels.” Which translates to “I hope we get it on tonight in the fantasy suite.” We cut back to Ashley pulling out the envelope and seductively reading it (like she really needs to try that hard). Ben accepts, duh and it’s on.

Before getting down to business Ben decides that the little hiccup of an I love you was an uncontrolled outburst, not the actual phrase and that he is going to hold back the real thing. Whatever, just get out of here and into the fantasy suite.

I still can't believe you can carry me!

After a 30 second dip in the pool, Ben carries (I know, I can’t believe he can carry her either) Ashley inside to make whoopie (yup, I just said whoopie and I liked it).

Date #2 aka It’s about damn time we flew in a helicopter.

We return to the horror of Ashley’s latest ensemble. Not only does she act like a 15-year-old, she dresses like one, a loose one at that.

Behold. My bare midriff!

It’s Consty date time which thankfully, also means it’s helicopter time. I thought maybe ABC had called off all helicopter flights after their excessive use last season but it’s good to have them back. Can’t say I wasn’t disappointed that instead of a plethora of helicopter, rappelling and yacht dates, this season we got to see a lot of markets, picnics and back alleys. I had almost given up hope but there must not be any markets or back-alleys in Fiji to try to lose Ashley in.

This date is already better than the one with Ben since Consty has the ability to show emotion. One laugh and he’s set himself apart from his twin. This joy is abruptly ended end they cut to one of the more frightening moments in the history of The Bachelorette. Ryan is standing alone on the beach watching the helicopter from below. Watching, waiting, plotting. I am seriously nervous for their safety and by their, I mean JP.

Creepy.

Consty and Ash arrive at a waterfall (jeez, they saved EVERYTHING good for this one episode) which Ash says they will be jumping from. I’m thinking this is gonna be awesome until I find out they are jumping from a high-dive level ledge under the waterfall. Waah, Waaaa.

Consty takes the “leap of faith” Ashley’s been waiting for by jumping from the ledge (with his shoes on?). We know this is a serious accomplishment because it is accompanied by the serious accomplishment music.

Fun fact: Consty looked at 108 houses before buying one. First, who knew there were that many houses in Cumming, GA? Second, Consty is a picky guy, which I respect.  It’s also good that he knows people are more dynamic than houses. Well yeah, you can also sleep with people rather than in one. Okay, never mind that came out dirty. Moving on.

It’s dinner time and Consty, while not dressed to the nines, is looking better than his mesh-loving twin. Dinner starts and it’s clear – Consty doesn’t really like Ashley that much. This date is not very romantical and within moments the writing is on the wall – Consty doesn’t want to propose next week, he doesn’t want to kick it in the fantasy suite (and all that it “implies”) and last but not least he does not want another rose. He does this all in the guise of saying he respects her too much to continue moving forward but Ashley knows what this means and she starts dropping insecurity bombs left and right.

Just when he’s about to cut President Obama breaks in for some important address on the national debt crisis. Doesn’t the Prez know that Ashley’s journey to find her one true love is way more important than our credit limit and the financial health of our nation? GAH. 

I’m about to get on my soap box when I realize we are behind on our DVR and I can fast-forward through this (oh quit your judging, you just wish you could have fast-forwarded too). 

And we’re back to this nightmare of a dinner date.

Consty is dunzo and not cause Ashley is sending him home. Another dude packing his bags and telling Ashley they’re just not that into her. There have been quite a few guys who have said sayonara early this season – is this a new record? Ashley stepping up her game and running everyone off!

So Consty packs up his toiletries and heads back to Cumming (what he couldn’t stay one more night? jeez!) while Ashley sits alone at dinner and read about what could have been in the fantasy suite.

Side note: Can we talk about how they put an actual, old-fashioned key in the envelope. Is there still a hotel on this planet that uses keys like that? Especially one as nice as this. C’mon CH.

What do you think this opens?

After counting to 100, Ashley finally gets up and sulks back to the fantasy suite (Big door. Little Ashley), drowns her sorrows in champagne and covers herself in a blanket of insecurity.

When she wakes up, she has a new resolve. She will make these dudes prove they are there for her! And in the mean time, she will boost her spirits by visiting Ryan who will, literally, beg for her affection. Just the kind of pick-me-up Ash needs to get the day started.

Rendezvous with Ryan

So I know people have been telling me for a while now, but I never noticed how bow-legged Ashley really is until this walk to Ryan’s chickee hut. She arrives and bites her nails in nervous anticipation (“What if even HE doesn’t like me?”). Ryan couldn’t be happier to see Ashley mostly because his self-induced seclusion in his room is finally over.

The two throw compliments back and forth to help boost their egos and once Ashley is finally feeling better about herself she breaks it down to Ryan. Ryan’s odd, scary smile (that hides the craziness beneath) breaks when she tells him that there is no spark, no romance. Ryan yells “Nuh-uh!” but Ashley holds strong and tells him it’s over.

Yeah, not so much.

All along we knew that Ryan was just one goodbye away from a total meltdown and here it is. The break-up is even worse the second time around and I think Ry is considering flinging himself over the balcony and into the ocean for good. The producers talk him down from that but then he spirals into a Howard Hughesian (you know, the guy Leonardo played in The Aviator) rant “It’ll happen, It’ll happen…. It’ll happen. It’ll happen.” I want to hide my entire being and fight the SE but I am way too concerned for his mental stability. Is there suicide watch in Figi?

It'll happen. It'll happen.

Date 3 aka The One with the Bi-Plane. 

I like how they save JP for the end every time. They know that he is all we are interested in and therefore make us sit through all the crapola to get to the good stuff.

If you didn’t know that Ashley was head over heels in love with JP, you should be full aware after she squealed his name in excitement like the 15 year-old that she is – JAAAAAAAYYYYY PEEEEEEEE!

They smooch and I realize that Drew has the same shirt that JP is wearing. It’s official I’m married to a hipster.

ABC continues to make up for the season of lackluster dates and takes us on a bi-plane ride. And these two love birds take flight just like their romance. Know how I know that? The music. This track is from the “Epic Love Greatest Hits (Instrumental Version)” I think it’s track 6 – “The flight to true love.”

These two paw at each other on the beach while I wonder aloud how long it will take for JP to take off his shirt. It takes WAY too long but it happens. Since the anticipation for that is over all I can do is wonder how long we’ll have to watch them open mouth kiss in the ocean.

Ashley spends the entire date trying to get JP to say ‘I love you.’ And while he refuses to say the words, the giddy, googly-eyed look on his face shows that the feeling is there.

It’s time for dinner and by dinner, I mean the 15 minutes before the fantasy suite.

JP tells Ashley he had an incredible day to which totally shocks and surprises Ashley. “What? You had fun with ME? It must have been because we’re in Fiji right?”

These two awkwardly grope while Ashley tells JP that two people have gone home this week. This makes JP beam with excitement until she burst the bubble and tells him that Ryan came back.  JP is on a roll of being cute and fun and awesome until he goes and says the dreaded B word.

I think this is where things get kind of serious. This is always the part where I tune out and check twitter or get a snack. All I hear is slow, thoughtful piano music and JP saying something about making Ashley his wife. Whatevs, when are you two heading to the fantasy suite?

Let's do this.

The card finally appears and Ashley tries to be sneaky about giving it to JP. He is thrilled with all the FS implies and it’s on. “This is what the past few months have led up to…” the sexy time.

“Are you excited?” Ashley says (because she is excited about EVERYTHING). Uh duh he’s excited.

Ashley changes into a men’s button down which I think is her code for let’s do this. They start open mouth kissing and I am ready to leave now.  Let’s close the doors and leave these two with their weird hand positions and slobbery kisses. (Since we all know that JP wins, do you think she is this annoying in real life with him?)

Unnecessary Rose Ceremony 

I’m gonna make this part quick cause lord knows this has been a LONG post. CH and Ash sit down for their one-on-one and here’s all you need to know. Ole girl is insecure as hell so she is going to make sure the guys want to be there during the rose ceremony. Got it.

It’s raining, once again, at her rose ceremony.  Do you think the constant rose ceremony rain is a sign from the gods?  (or was that sentence a sign from the gods that I’ve been watching too much ‘Rome’ on Netflix?)

Both dudes accept the roses (uh duh) since it would make them look pretty lame to turn her down right after they made whoopie in the fantasy suite.

We close with the incredibly awkward final three champagne toast. Did you all get uncomfortable watching Ashley try to pay attention to both of them? If I was Ben or JP, I’d get my toast on and be out of there quick!

Yay! You still like me!

Well we made it through another week. Only one more episode left. Can you believe it? I thought we might not make it (I don’t think some of you did, the readership has declined throughout the season. I’m blaming that on Ashley and not my writing – it’s my blog. I do what I want).  Men Tell All Special Sunday and then the Finale Monday!

And then it’s Bachelor Pad!

Next week it’s all kissing, mean coupon lady and long dresses. Until then… stay tuned!

Wait hold on. Why do they save all the funny/extra weird stuff for the very end. Good to know Ashley has a foot fetish but really – I  wish they would show some of this funnier/sillier/slightly more normal (okay not the foot thing but the actual real conversation) stuff for the show.

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Ashley Hebert and The Quest for Unconditional Love – The Bachelorette Season 7 Episode 7 Recap

It’s been a long time, you thought I left you without a dope beat to step to. Pardon the Aaliyah reference. Things are pretty bleak over here at SE. First off, The Bachelorette is slowly sucking at my will to watch TV and second, I’m reconsidering my commitment to ‘Love in the Wild’ and thinking of throwing my Wednesday night recaps to The Challenge: Rivals. Thoughts?

I'm Waaaiting. (Abc/Kenny Ting)

I do have one positive to report this (sweltering) Tuesday morning – we made it through an entire episode without hearing about he who must not be named (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II comes out this week! what what! Sorry got to sneak those references in when I can).  I even made a cocktail prepared to finally give the drinking game a go and once again, Ashley disappoints me (but this time in a kind of good way and at least I had a cocktail to drink away the disappointment).

So the whole gang is heading over to Taiwan. And by travel, I mean they jaunt across a cartoon map of the Orient (hey, they played the semi-racist music, not me) to the Hidden Jewel of Asia. Ashley uses her montage voice-over to discuss how amazing Taiwan is, how it is the perfect place to fall in love and that it is the most beautiful, romantic, amazing, awesome place to fall in love (I think she had at least 6 other superlatives but you get the point).

Do you ever wish they would come on be like “Yeah, we’re going to this place. It sucks. It’s crowded, gross, the people are mean and the food is nasty. Basically it is the worst place ever to fall in love but we’re going to give it a go.” I think this would add some nice realism to the show. Yeah, it’s easy to fall in love when everything is all market dates and fake weddings but what about when you’re surrounded by dirty homeless people and rude commuters? That’s the true test of love. Okay, enough of my blabbering. On to the show.

Ashley gives us a detailed account of why she likes each guy. The only one with any truth was her Ames analysis, “He is one of the most unique guys I’ve ever met.” You can say that again.

There are six dudes left when we get to Taipei. Only four will have the chance to introduce Ashley to their creepy relatives and awkward friends back home.

There will be three one-on-one dates and one group date. No roses on the one-on-ones. Game on.

As the brahs settle down into their bachelor pad everyone is loving the new digs with one exception: our resident hipster hottie JP. He’s showing that he is certainly Ashley’s perfect match by allowing his insecurity to slowly creep in and eat him from the inside out. He silently seethes in the corner while the first date goes to…

Constantine – Let your love light shine. Love, Ashley.  

Ashley shows up in her standard issue outfit: half top (this time the back is missing, this turns out to be a trend this episode. A frightening and alarming trend), jeggings and stripper shoes. The two meet up at a train station and while this date clearly doesn’t involve dancing, Ashley tries to sneak in a little shimmy much to Ben’s Constantine’s displeasure.

Note: How has it gone unmentioned, this ENTIRE SEASON, that Ben and Constantine are doppelgangers? Not even one funny comment in the credit bloopers. Nothing. This aggression will not stand.

All aboard the True Love Express for Constantine (his name is entirely too long. I will call him Consty from here on out) and Ashley. Viewers experience the train ride with some sensual Thomas the Train music accompanied by some PG petting (mostly from Ashley) capped off by the phallic train-in-the-tunnel moment. Once that’s over we’re in the “adddooooorrable” Ping Shi Village. I wish Ames had been on this date. We could have heard some insightful commentary on the history of Taiwan and this specific village rather than hearing Ashley describe the world like a 7-year old girl talking about kittens.

To continue their tradition of painting things on dates (wait, that’s Ben isn’t it? This look alike thing is getting out of hand) the two paint a love lantern for the ceremonial release later that night (not meant to be a dirty sentence but came across that way. sorry!) These  dodo birds attempt to paint something of meaning (How do you draw marriage? What would commitment look like? What shape is a heart?) while the locals look on condescendingly.

We learn later that this lantern has little to no meaning after a stray dog provides it with its true meaning – “I piss on your love.”

Back at the suite the dudes are having an intense staring contest while waiting for the date card to arrive. The Hunchback leaves everyone in surprise (or maybe he is still concussed and just talks like that now) until he announces Constantine Ben is the winner of the date card lottery. Ben pretends to be excited while Ryan is all “Awww Man!” pouting about how outdoor dates are his thing.

I think the Constantine Ben back-to-back dates are a deliberate attempt by the producers to confuse the shit out of Ashley. She’s got to get them confused, doesn’t she?

Back in Ping Shi, Consty

It's Addooorrrable.

gets real with Ashley and in the one moment of truth on this show, let’s her know that (shocker!) he’s not in love with her yet. Hallelujah it appears real humans may still populate The Bachelorette. Ashley isn’t buying this and aggressively rest her hand near Consty’s package while he keeps his neatly folded and far away from her.

Ashley is in total surprise to find out that Consty actually listens to what she says since she doesn’t listen to what anyone says except for “You’re so pretty!” or “You’re so skinny!” She’s far too busy listening to her own insecure thoughts to pay attention to what the guys are talking about.
This revelation scores big for Consty and they are letting their love light shine and open mouth kissing in no time.

This date decidedly trumps Ashley’s last “most romantic date ever” while Consty adds that “he’s never been happier” as they sway in the glow of the lantern light.
Next up: Constantine Part Deux or Ben as they like to call him on this show. 

We know this date is an outdoor date since Ashley shows up in some booty shorts and another ill-fitting top, this time a men’s XL t-shirt.

After these two sway and stare awkwardly in each others eyes  for what seemed like 3 minutes, she finally tells him what the date is and they skip on over to their … Moped!

As the scoot off into the mountains, Ben gets some serious bonus points with his ‘Dumb and Dumber” reference. Although I am quite certain the reference was entirely lost on Ashley. I don’t know if it was the moped or the mountains or Ben’ calling Ashley kiddo or Ashley’s tween sized arms holding tight to Ben but these two crazy kids are falling in love. Don’t be fooled though, Ashley still sneaks her insecurity into this date when she asks Ben – while riding the moped- “But you’re happy right?” Oh Ashley, what are we going to do with you?

Back at the swanky hotel, the dudes find out that Ashley is grooming Ames, Lucas and JP for the big day. This mean Ryan finally gets his one on one date. Praise the Sun Gods – the day is near!

Did someone say pose? (ABC/Kenny Ting)

Back to the love birds, Ben shows up for dinner in his chambray shirt ready to get down to business. This is especially apparent when Ashley compares their dinner wine to the one Ben brought her. He slams down his glasses, throws the other in her face and yells “Are you f-ing kidding me? This swill doesn’t even compare.” AW man, I wish that had happened. Instead, Ben acts mildly annoyed and mumbles under his breath something about Ashley being an idiot.

This dinner is mildly painful. Ashley manages to ask Ben to reassure her 19 times before she believes that he really likes her and Ben uses his words to spit out that he can’t wait for her to meet his mommy and daddy.

As Ben strings together sentences pouring his love out for Ashley, she sits there oddly staring at him like there is spinach in his teeth. I start to complain about how she doesn’t respond to him but then I realize we’ve made it an entire minute without having to listen to her whiny voice. Point Ben.

We think the date ends with an open mouth kiss but apparently there was more and Ben does his walk of shame into the penthouse the next morning. This makes JP’s blood boil and right before I think he is going to lunge across the sofa and smother Ben with his beanie, he exits the room.

Group Date: Awkward Wedding Photos with Ames, JP and Lucas. 

The dudes met up with Ashley at a Thai Olin Mills where they find out they’ll be taking wedding pictures. Yay! Ashley is so excited about this that she dug out one of her old cheer-leading skirts so she could play real life Ken & Barbie with these three saps.

While Ashley looks as excited as her sister in front of a pile of coupons, the guys look less than thrilled. And by less than thrilled, I mean terrified. While the guys try to regain composure, Ashley tells America that this is an important date where she will learn if they’re ready for marriage, if they can commit and most importantly, if they look “cute”  in wedding pictures. We’re creating true love here folks.

The photo sequence goes down pretty fast.

Basically, Lucas gets set up to look like an old Thai lady for the traditional pics (cause he’s a traditional southern gentleman ya’ll!). They take the least romantic, most awkward pictures ever and he is pissed about it.

Let's play dress-up!

Ames, who has no idea where he is, takes it like a good sport and wears his baby blue tux with pride. He and Ashley take pictures in a fake tree for no apparent reason and as soon as it begun, his photos are over.

JP, who pouted more effectively than a 3-year-old girl, gets his way and dons a James Bond style black tux. He looks smoking hot but his new attitude stains his look. Ashley eats it up and they stand in front of a $3 backdrop while being SOOOO HAAPPPY!

The awkward wedding photo date ends with them checking out their best shots. They leave behind their 11 x 14′s so they can grace the entry of this Sears Portrait Studio for years to come.

The dinner portion of the date is a mix of each guy chest puffing for Ashley’s affection. Actually, this is a total lie. The rest of the date is a competition between JP and Lucas on who can be the bigger whiny brat. http://itsnotavespa.tumblr.com/

Little Amesy.

Side Note: Where on earth did Ames sneak those family photos in from? All of a sudden we’re looking at 12-year-old Ames and I’m thinking, “Have those been in your suitcase the whole time?” Seriously, he’s just been holding on to those waiting for the perfect time to drop them on Ashley. I’m guessing there was one of Ames’ parents monster sized house and Ashley is like, “Well hell. I gotta see that place.”  Poor Ames, unpopular til he was 26, I mean 16.

The moment Ryan’s been waiting for…. the one-on-one. 

I know this date is off to a bad, bad SE start when these two start running (if that’s what you call that) towards each other in the open square. If a little piece of you didn’t die while watching then you haven’t truly felt the effects of SE. Ps. – Did anyone else notice that Ashley wasn’t wearing shoes as she walk/ran across the square?

This is when Drew throws in his important comment of the show. “I’m no fashionista (yup, I taught him that word) but really what the f** is up with that shirt?” Love it. Glad to know that he has also noticed Ashley’s new trend of backless tops.

If we’re using superlatives, this meet up has got to go down as the most awkward in Bachelor(ette) history. I covered myself up in sofa cushions and asked Drew to let me know when Ashley found a normal shirt. I am currently writing this post from my cushion fort.

So, other than the mountains of SE this date was pretty boring. Basically, the two of them walk around and talk. As they wander and watch people do Thai chi, Ryan quizzes Ashley on what she’s doing to help the environment and when they are going to get married. These topics of convo clearly make Ashley uncomfortable and I can see this date taking a bad turn.

I know that it’s a bad sign when they play the game for the match making gods and the blocks don’t match up right. Ashley silently jumps for joy while Ryan begins to hyperventilate into a paper bag. Seriously, at any minute is seems like he could either laugh or break down into tears. He seems a little mentally unstable to me.

The sun comes out and Ryan uses its energy to tell Ashley about the most boring topic of all time – Water Heaters. At this point, Ashley throws the brakes on this date and lays it out for Ryan. “Look dude, you’re nice and you love our planet but this thing isn’t gonna work out.”

The worst part is that Ryan thought this date was going AMAZEballs. Like he was not just on cloud nine, he jumped over that cloud and went straight to 10. This is what makes it all the more awkward when Ashley “breaks up” with him.

As she lays down the law, Ryan looks like Ashley shot his puppy or the sun. And in the most epic line in SE history he says “So you don’t want to meet my family?” Oh god, oh god. I steal Ryan’s paper bag idea and start hyperventilating myself. Ryan’s so awkward and so weird and so bad yet so naive and I almost feel bad for him. Oh well, it doesn’t matter now since it looks like he’s about to go drown himself in that koi pond.

As Ashley drags out the break up (don’t hold hands when you are breaking up with someone), Drew notices there is a giant jungle cat lurking in the background. Snap. She is about to just leave his ass to get eaten by a giant jungle cat. Are they at the zoo? Doesn’t seem like it, that cat is roaming pretty freely.

As Ashley leaves him she notes that Ryan “Really likes me and he’s a really smart guy.” This is clearly a ‘If, Then” statement for Ashley. If he really likes me, then he is really smart. Oh Ashley and her insecurity.

Hugging or groping - that is the question.

The pair drop hands and go their separate ways but not before they get one last hug (is it groping if she’s wearing only half a shirt?). Ashley back to cocktail filled dates and Ryan to his destiny with the jungle cat (Drew says he is just as nervous for Ryan now as he was for Casey when Ali left his ass on a mountain in Iceland.)

Ryan stuffs his hands in his pockets, hangs his head and walks straight into the jungle cats lair.

Poor guy stutters and cries awkwardly into the camera and I try to leave the room but am paralyzed with SE. I almost feel bad for the guy but then he makes me so uncomfortable.

Our closing shot if of sad Ryan wandering Taiwan. And to add insult to injury they can’t even give the dude a lift to the airport – they make him hail his own cab.

End Scene.

Rose Ceremony:

This post is way too long so I am going to wrap this up.

Ashley stares at the dudes pictures longingly while Ames provides expert commentary on this episode. I honestly wish we could have him do commentary the rest of the reason. He gives us a nice recap of the guys state of mind. I love it.

Ben and Constantine sit down next to each other and seriously THEY ARE TWINS.

Heart to Heart with CH. Boring except that Ashley ONCE AGAIN kills the cocktail party. The producers need to put their foot down on this bull.

Rose Ceremony:

CH gives them all the sympathy break-up speech and it’s on.

  • JP already has a rose.
  • Constantine
  • Ben
    AND…
  • Ames (Who looks like he has been propped up. I think someone’s been doing that ever since he got concussed. When his name is called, he is like “where am i?”)

Lucas is sent packing. The dudes all stand around and are like “I totally didn’t expect that” which is code for “Ames, how the f are you still here?” Lucas leaves with dignity and without crying which i appreciate. He’d make a good bachelor.

Ashley starts getting emotional in her solo interview. Despite wanting to keep all the guys in her polly pocket case she takes with her everywhere she is not emotionally prepared to let them go. “I never knew there would be this much pressure.” Are you serious? What did you think you got to keep them all. Woof.

Drew pipes in with another insightful thought when he says, “Do you think every time she talks the producers are like ‘Oh god, why did he pick her?’” I whole heartedly agree and will no wrap this post up.

I know Emily came on afterwards and to wrap that up here goes: Crying, Broke up with Brad, Lip Quiver Crying, Being Cute as a Button, Crying, Being Precious, No more Brad and Emily. That’s a wrap.

So what did you all think of this episode? I know I left a lot out (mainly Ames’ outfit choices) so feel free to leave your favorite parts in the comments.

Until next time… stay tuned.

 

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Bentley on the Brain. – The Soup’s Bachelorette Blabber

Hey friends. So it’s Tuesday and because of the birth of our great nation, we were spared from watching Ashley blabber on about Bentley for one week. Don’t worry friends, The Soup and Joel McHale are here to help us play an abbreviated version of the Bentley drinking game (and probably kill us).

I couldn’t let a Tuesday go by without a Bachelorette post, so please enjoy this fabulous montage (yes, for once a montage I can get behind) that adequately sums up all we hate about this season.

My favorite line is “Ashley continues to captivate the nation with her courageous fight against good decisions and her spot on imitation of nails on a chalkboard.” Thank you Joel for saying what we’re all been trying to put into words.

Love in the Wild AND  Rivals: The Challenge Wednesday night.

Until then… stay tuned.

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“I just want a friend.” Learning to Love on The Bachelorette Season 7 Episode 6 Recap Part II

Sorry for breaking this recap up but I had to take a break or as Ashley would call it a “dot dot dot.”

So as Brian Fellows would say “Let’s get GOING!” (Once again, I had to insert a clip of something funny that I love to make this recap worthwhile.)

Group Date: Dragon Boat Racing

Is it bad that I got excited for the group date because it meant that Ames would be there to amuse me with his awesome facial expressions? Well if it’s bad, I don’t want to be good.

Ashley is there in a tie-front top so, if there were any doubts, it’s now confirmed we’re on a group date. We find out that the dudes are going to do some dragon boat racing. As we all wonder aloud what that means, Ashley informs us like a seasoned local (or a clueless American reading cue cards). The dudes are broken up into pairs.

As if it’s an apology for the awfulness of these season, the producers pair up the twins aka Benstantine. I love it. Clearly they do too. Their bromance is real. Not sure if it is a self-love thing since essentially they are the same person. But whatever it is – I like it.

These guys. (ABC/Victor Fraile)

The other pairings are the rivals Blake and Ryan (Ryan’s all “Rivals? We’re not Rivals. I love Blake!”) and the brains Ames and Mickey. The twist is that each team needs to find 8 other people to help row their dragon boats. This means the crew of obnoxious Americans (minus Ames cause he probably speaks Mandarin) will be let loose on the market (again? really?) to annoy and pester the locals.

It’s such a Benstantine move to try to recruit chicks. Hey Guys – you’re here trying to score with this Ashley chick, there will be plenty of time to explore the local flavor when she kicks you off. In the mean time, you need to find some strong dudes to help you row.

Clearly this message is not lost on Ames and Mickey who are able to find every experienced dragon boat racer in Hong Kong in a matter of minutes.

Team Blyan depend on Ryan’s solar-powered positive personality to recruit their motley crew of rowers. Meanwhile, Benstantine get stoned and buy matching outfits (like we weren’t confused enough already).

Race time. Ashley is impressed with Team Maemes recruiting skills, she is less impressed with the twins outfits. I, on the other hand, must thank the producers for this small favor. Watching them parade down the beach in matching red robes with a posse of ready-to-row chicks in tow is pure genius. Can we make these two the next Bachelors. Maybe it can be Parent Trap-style (lots of LaLohan references lately).

As expected Team Mames and their team of ringers win and the look of confusion on Ames’ face when they cross the finish line makes me believe that he is still dealing with the after-effects of his concussion. Yup, his facial expression was awesome. Feel free to check it out here at the 3:08 mark. You’re welcome.

So the black teams wins and during their victory celebration, another couple gets engaged. You can see all the guys start sweating and awkwardly fidgeting. No worries boys, there’s a good chance you won’t be forced into a false engagement with Ashley. Before we break for the evening portion of the group date, Ashley gives us this brilliant comment. “Every time I spend time with them, I get to know them better.” Yeah Ashley, it’s weird how that works.

Ashley feels like tonight is gonna be a good night, well isn’t it always a good time when Ames wears TWO collared shirts at once. One is just not enough for a good time. To keep with the awkward Ames theme, the pair hop into an elevator and head to the 48th floor. When Ashley asks him if he’s been there before I am expecting him to say yes since he’s been everywhere else in the world. Instead, he grabs Ashley and sticks his tongue down her throat as they climb 48 floors high. The sloppy kissing noises were almost too much to bear. Just when I thought I liked you Ames you go and ruin it with some open mouth kissing.

After tongue kissing Ames, Ashley grabs the next preppiest guy, Ben and decides one awkward kissing encounter just isn’t enough. So after some Scooby snacks, Ashley and Ben get their spit swapping on. Woof. (Next time ABC I would much prefer the deleted scenes of them using their dog voices and that’s saying something.)

Aren't crop tops just the cutest?!? (ABC/Victor Fraile)

Next up is Ryan. While the guys sit around talking about how annoying Ryan is, he’s off helping an insecure girl feel good about herself. Who knew all you needed to do to get a rose was remind Ashley that you’re there for her (Really? I can’t believe you’re all here for Me! That is so exciting!) So Prince Charming does his thing and soon Princess Fiona is scooting off to snag the rose for him. This really pisses the other guys off and despite their threats, they do not pack up and leave that very moment. (I know, bummer.)

As Ashley blabbers on, telling us how she FINALLY realizes the guys are there for her, Drew and I discuss a very important topic. If we’re seeing Ashley say the same thing over and over again imagine how many times she must have said it before editing. Yikes. I feel like sending the editor a cookie cake right now.

The group date ends and it’s finally on to the good stuff…

Jordan Paul’s One-on-One.

Sporting her standard loose blouse, Ashley is ready to ruin all of JP’s precious camera time with her insecurity and hair touching. When she mentions Bentley on this date, I want to drop kick her. You are on a date with the best thing to happen to this season. Do not ruin it with talk of that loser.

At this point I’m considering turning off the sound so I can just watch JP without having to hear Ashley’s whining. Ashley notices that she and JP have one major difference. “You’re so confident” she says. Um yeah, he’s a smoking hottie without daddy issues. Why wouldn’t he be confident?

I think ABC should call this season a wash and just create a new fall rom-com reality show, Odd Couple-style, with JP and Ames. They both live in New York right? Think about how awesome that show would be. One’s in construction, one’s in finance. One is messy, one is not. One is a smoking hottie and one is the reincarnation of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. If this is the next ABC hit show don’t say I didn’t call it first.

So after some mindless chatter, Ashley officially ruins the date by coming clean about Bentley. Jordan Paul doesn’t take the bait and is lovely and understanding which totally pisses me off. I thought this would make him hate her and then cement him as the next Bachelor. (I knew it wouldn’t happen but a girl can dream.)

Ashley’s monologue about falling for Bentley make me hate her even more. She definitely doesn’t deserve sweet, sweet JP. On an entirely separate note, why don’t JP and Ashley ever have a full day/night date? I feel jipped.

JP forgives Ashley despite her unworthiness of his forgiveness. Since Ashley’s a smitten kitten (can’t blame her) she gives him the rose (duh) and he oddly wears it on his shirt the rest of the date. So JP spends the train ride part of the date looking like he’s heading to homecoming. The date ends with Ashley fishing for compliments and a dash of tongue kissing. (Yeah I still hate it, even when it’s JP.)

Rose Ceremony aka The Men Revolt aka Ashley Let’s the Girls Out!

Ashley is all dolled up and ready to appear in the Miss Teen USA pageantto get her cocktail on. Ashley’s anxiety and insecurity about her boobs have been haunting her since the roast date (similar to the experience with Bentley) so she decides to show them what’s up and let the girls out.

A Wooo Ga. A Woooo Ga.

Obviously they “captivate” the brahs who all start drooling and making honking noises. This is obviously all before she breaks the Bentley news to them.

Ashley rounds up her cowboys and sits them around the campfire for a little tale. Unfortunately for Ashley, the guys don’t take to this tale like our saint JP did. They are pissed and they let our girl know.I wish one of them would pick her up (“OMG! I can’t believe you can carry ME!”) and throw her in the ocean.

Well at least one of them does, nah I wish. Although Mickey is the only one with some cojones (Blake breaks like a pencil under the pressure of Ashley’s cleavage). Mickey tells her to send him home and she’s like you can leave if you want so he’s like “sayonara sucker” and he’s out.

After everyone gets a chance to call out Ashley, she cries and runs into the judging arms of Chris Harrison. CH is all “what did you expect?” and Ashley gets her ugly cry on (Bentley did call it on that one). Her crying is HORRIBLE. She’s a hiccup crier which I think is the worst kind of on-screen crier. CH once again tells her to pull it together and it’s rose time.

Ashley makes her rose decision while we listen to the sweet sounds of the music they play when you get a massage. The difference is that normally I love this music because it means someone is rubbing away my stress, aches and pains. Tonight the music is only emphasizing the desperation and insecurity that is Ashley Hebert.

Ashley’s Boobs Give Roses To:
(Lucas, JP and Ryan already have roses)

  • Ben F.
  • Constantine

AND…

  • Ames

I’m pretty happy about this because it means we get at least one more week of Ames’ amazing facial expressions. Blake must pack up his dental gear (and his collection of pin stripe suits) and leave. Before heading out for good, he let’s us know that he “just wants a friend.” Well Blake, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of “friends” on Bachelor Pad.

Next week: The Hidden Jewel of Asia… Taiwan!

I’m happy we all survived another week of this trash. Tomorrow night I’ll be checking out the premier of Love in the Wild and I’ll be back on Thursday to recap it! What did you all think was the worst moment of this week’s episode?

Until then… stay tuned!

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Shut up! – The Bachelorette Season 7 Episode 6 Recap Part I

After watching last night’s episode, it is taking everything I have to write this blog post. We all know The Bachelorette is big on hyperbole. I do not think it is at all an exaggeration when I say that last night was the worst episode in the history of this franchise.

If you did not attempt to pull out your hair, assault your television or curse angrily towards the screen – then I’m not sure you are a living, breathing human. I’m guessing you are a sun-powered robot produced at the same factory as Ryan. As much as it pains me to do this, let’s recap this b**ch.

Obligatory Bentley-drama montage. I’ve recapped this montage I think 5 times now. I cannot bear to do it again. Although, if I didn’t mention that ridiculously cheesy shot of Ashley frozen on the streets on Hong Kong with the crowd moving in fast-forward behind her, I wouldn’t be doing my part in making fun of this show. Seriously, what the f was that? I’m thinking that the producers were so mind-numbingly bored while editing that they just threw this in there to give them something to do.

All the introspective Ashley shots involve her saying the words “dot dot dot” as many times as possible as I repeatedly bang my head against the wall, mumbling incoherently, praying for the punctuation discussions to end. Little did I know, I would never escape the “dot dot dot.” In a moment of sheer brilliance, Ashley explains to the viewing audience that a “dot dot dot” usually means “to be continued.” This is just in case you skipped 6th grade language arts and weren’t sure what ellipses meant.

Thankfully that ends and we’re at the hotel in Hong Kong when Chris Harrison stops by to see Ashley. He tries to hide his annoyance and hatred (At this point, I think Chris may hate Ashley more than all of us, which is seriously saying something) of Ashley while letting her know  that the King of the Douches is here. IN. THIS. HOTEL.

“SHUT UP!!!” Ashley says like a valley girl who just found out her best friend made out with her boy-friend at the prom after party. Or Like Regina George in this, one of my most favorite movie scenes of all time (yes, this season is so bad I have to add awesome movie clips to make writing a post bearable), except that Regina George is not retarded (her words not mine) like Ashley.

She yells this repeatedly and Chris is like “Chill the F out and stop telling me to shut up. I run this show.” He basically breaks it down that they flew el Jerko from Salt Lake all the way to Hong Kong so she can finally get over him and hopefully (fingers crossed!) stop mentioning in every one-on-one interview.

CH scribba scrabbas the number on a napkin and tells Ashley to handle her shit or he will. Then he is gone, like a thief in the night. Rather than playing some blatantly racist Chinese music, ABC leaves us with some artistic white noise so we can clear our heads before heading to commercial.

During this commercial break, Drew’s nice guy facade crumbles and he admits out loud that he “really doesn’t like Ashley” and that it was a horrible decision to pick her. Now it is official. Even nice people hate her and wish she wasn’t the Bachelorette. I am guessing if Michelle Money had been our girl, we would be LOVING this season.

So we’re back and Ashley heads down to Bentley’s room and then waits an eternity to knock. What the F are you waiting for? Just knock already! So Bentley and Ashley makes knock knock jokes for a minute and I consider leaping head first off my couch (i figure I’ll survive, just maybe be a little concussed like Ames).

Bentley opens the door and I immediately regret my decision to eat dinner while watching this episode. Literally, my body begins to physically reject me for watching this show. It is horrible.

This whole conversation is the epitome of Secondary Embarrassment. It’s like watching two 16-year-olds break-up. Except I imagine most 16 year-olds have a better grasp on reality than these two.

They talk in circles for about 5 minutes, mentioning every form of punctuation possible. Ashley says “dot dot dot” for the 39453509483583049583 time and Bentley decides they need to change that to a period. At this point, I yell “ENOUGH!” at my television and run out of the room to fight the urge to get physically ill.

No, I'm not on my period.

No but really, I sit and bear this awful conversation long enough to them to settle on putting a period on their relationship. With this I cover my eyes and pray for it to end. Thankfully it does, but not before Ashley acts Bentley why he came there instead of just calling. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY? How dumb are you? The free loader wanted to a free trip to Hong Kong. The frequent flier miles alone had to make it worth while.

Instead of saving any remaining shards of dignity, Ashley sits in awkward silence for a full minute before taking her loose blouse and stripper shoes back to her room.

We end knowing that Ashley got played. Hard. And despite telling America that she’s done with Bentley we all know that she’s not since she mentions him another 235983404953095 times this episode.

Date Time – Big Tex and Ashley in Downtown Hong Kong
Ames grabs the date card and despite his multiple Ivy league degrees, he still reads aloud like a 3rd grader with a stammer. He finally spits out that Lucas will be getting to spend some QT with Ashley.

Ryan is pissed (which is hard to tell when he is still smiling scarily) that Big Tex stole his one-on-one date but then he sees the sun and is over it.

It’s date time and Ashley has, once again, found a loose blouse, some tight pants and stripper shoes to wear to wander, once again, a market. Markets cannot be the only tourist attraction in Asia. Can’t they do ANYTHING ELSE? Does Hong Kong not have any helicopters? I know they have sky scrapers to rappel off of. The lack of originality makes me think the producers have thrown in the towel on this season too.

Ashley asks Big Tex if it feels like they’re in New York. Um, nope Ashley. There are about a million Chinese people around me and everything is written in an entirely different alphabet. So no. She follows up that gem of a question with the captain obvious comment, “Look at the street market, people are selling things.” Yup Ashley, that’s usually what happens at a street market.

Boring Boring Boring. Then it’s on to dinner but not before Ashley tells us she hasn’t thought about Bentley at all. Really? Then why are you still talking about him? Ugh.

Lucas tells Ashley she’s not the kind of girl he would normally date (score one for honesty) and that the hardest thing he’s been through is the Big D and he don’t mean Dallas.

Back at the ranch, the dudes fight about who will get the one-on-one date and Ames steps up to wear the required plaid shirt. I think that if someone isn’t wearing plaid at all times on this show that the Earth will tilt off its axis or something that could lead to a nuclear winter.

Date card comes and Ben F. grabs it and reads like an adult that Ryan, Mickey, he and his twin, Ames and Blake will be going on the group date where they will get their hearts racing. Blake is pissed that JP gets the one-on-one because his hotness is “definitely a front-runner.” Well yeah, have you seen the guy?

Back on the pirate ship, Ashley gives a lame attempt at suspense but hands the rose over while confirming her insecurity by thanking him for accepting it. The date ends with some open-mouth kissing, some dancing to the music of their hearts, some more slobbery, wet, horribly embarrassing kisses and more hyperbole – “This was the most romantic night of my life.”

End Scene.

I’m going to take a break here but I’ll be back later with more on the twins racing debut, Ashley’s love of crop tops  and sweet, sweet JP.

Until then…stay tuned!

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What are we watching next? Spreading the SE Beyond The Bachelorette

Happy Friday friends.

So I’ve been thinking. I think we’ve all agreed that this season of The Bachelorette isn’t stellar. It’s not even really that great. It’s kind of meh. This doesn’t mean I am going to stop watching (and recapping), it just means I’m less than enthused about Ashley H.’s search for love.

I need some secondary embarrassment excitement in my life. I’m planning on dedicating some time over the weekend to catch up on the latest season of Toddlers & Tiaras after which I will faithfully blog about the experience. But I need something new to commit to and I want you all to be on board with it.

What I’m asking is, what other show do I NEED to be watching (with my laptop, taking notes as it happens) without the use of my trusty DVR. What would you like to read about the next day? Housewives (of the New Jersey variety), Big Brother, any new summer show (of the dating and/or talent variety), something else on Bravo.

Is there some undiscovered treasure trove of SE that I have no idea about? Please share the love.

If I get zero comments on this post, I’ll know that the love was not shared. And then I’ll be personally embarrassed which will require another blog post. It’s a vicious circle.

Photo: Bravo TV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help a friend out.

Until then… stay tuned.

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